It's Your Rejects, Ya Dingus
by YaDingus
Summary: Plot devices and crossover ideas. A place to put forth those niggling concepts that I've come up with while writing but didn't make into any real sort of story. Or didn't feel like expanding on the idea. So come on in and check them out; you might like what you see.
1. Haganai

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these.

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Naruto/ Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai

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Uzumaki Naruto looked down at the piece of paper in his bandaged hand before twisting his head around for another look. The sprawling grounds and accompanying mansion was the only place around on the outskirts of the nearby Tooya City, and the gilded numbers on the high gate beside the _Private Property _sign matched the ones written in Jiraiya's messy scrawl, so the blond guessed that there was a good chance he was in the right place. The letter had been written a few years ago and found among the deceased Toad Sage's meager belongings he kept sequestered away back within the walls of Konohagakure no Sato. Even after Pein destroyed it all the Hokage's reinforced vault where it had been stored kept everything within from turning to rubble. It, and the rest of the note outlining the plan involving the man's blond-haired pupil, had been a place housing someone Jiraiya had apparently wanted to introduce Naruto to when they finally had the time. He'd written it all down just in case the coming years made him forget some of the info.

But with the whole Akatsuki and biju/war fiasco, alongside the older man's death sort of put a damper on those endeavors.

Still, if Jiraiya had wanted to introduce his protégé to whoever lived here then the shinobi saw no reason to not honor the request. Seeing a button for a buzzer the blue-eyed male pressed it and waited. Before long the speaker built into the tall brick fence crackled whenthe sound of a woman's voice filtered through, polite but firm in a tone that was monotonous in nature.

"I'm sorry but Kashiwazaki-sama does not entertain solicitors."

"Uh, I ain't a solicitor lady. I'm-"

"Then I must ask that you vacate the premises."

"Now hold on a minute! Ero-sennin wanted to bring me here one day for some reason so here I am! I didn't come all this way for nothing!"

The spokeswoman remained completely quiet for a moment before her voice returned, more quizzical than before but still maintaining a dull tone. "And who is this 'Ero-sennin' you speak of?"

"Ero-sennin. Y'know...the pervy sage. Always yelling out he's a super pervert?...uh, Jiraiya of the Sannin?" Naruto gestured with his arms despite no one else being there with him to see.

More silence followed, for a longer period of time. When the gate guardian finally returned she sounded slightly out of breath. "And what is your name?"

"Naruto."

"Naruto what?" a new voice cut in. It was deeper and definitively a man. The jinchuriki's head tilted slightly as squinted eyes peered curiously at the electronic amplifier.

"Uzumaki Naruto. Anyways can I just talk to...the..."

He stopped talking as the thick gate started humming before the electric gears in its hinges dragged it inward in one smooth oiled motion, allowing the blond access to its inner core filled with perfectly trimmed grass and lush vegetation. Looking around Naruto figured that was a sign to enter; the speakers weren't talking anymore and he was pretty sure if he wasn't wanted they would have told him so.

Staring at the long, steep, winding road leading up to the house the Uzumaki teen scoffed and completely disregarded the cement path laid out for vehicles and foot traffic. Using a few normal jumps he was up the sheer landscape with ease, setting foot on the wide front lawn complete with large water fountains and a spacious driveway before walking up to the tall wooden doors and crossing his arms over his chest. There was no doorbell anywhere and the entrance towered over him reaching at least twice his height. Shrugging he simply reached forward and banged his fist against the solid barrier.

He only got off one heavy knock before someone or something pulled them open. In the late afternoon sun, the shadows stretched long and bathed the foyer in a cool blanket of shade that slightly darkened the person standing there with their arms outstretched. Stepping off to the side, the person bowed their head slightly and gestured with a thin arm for him to venture further inside.

"Please come in Naruto-sama."

Wide-eyed at the unexpected title of respect Naruto gave a short nod, idly recognizing the voice as the female who originally replied to him at the gate. Walking in the blond couldn't help but give a low whistle of sheer appreciation at the size of the interior and how the furnishings expressed nothing but high-class wealth. The property and outer adornments should have given him an idea at just how well-off this person was but seeing the rich oak furniture and oil paintings lining the walls really put it in perspective.

_Jiraiya_ knew this guy? How?

"So you're Naruto...well, you're taller than what I've been told."

Spinning around the ninja couldn't help but jump to defend against the crack at his height. "Of course I am! What the hell did you expect?!" Just because he was short when he was younger, the person who brought it up acted as if his former stature was as big as he was ever going to get!

Then Naruto blinked as his irritation dried up, spying the woman with a small smile on her lips standing next to a man who he realized made the teasing jab about a former sore subject. Based on the tone it was also the same guy who asked over the speaker what his full name was. Tall but thin, trimly muscled and dressed in nothing more than a brown casual kimono tied at the waist but still faintly loose enough to expose a bit of his chest. His hair was black and slicked back along the scalp save for a few strands that couldn't remain contained; the length of the 'do was tied in a short ponytail that currently hung over his shoulder. And compared to the woman his features were impassive, watching the un-tensing blond with analytical chocolate irises peering out from a mature face.

Slightly tilting his head to the left the male crossed his thin limbs over his chest and raised an eyebrow in question. "So you're Uzumaki Naruto eh? May I ask what your reason is for coming here?"

Matching the guy's stare Naruto's reopened the crumpled piece of paper in his hands. "Like I said before, Ero-sennin apparently wanted to bring me here but I only just recently learned about it. I guess it was to introduce me to..." Blue orbs quickly scanned the characters again. "To some guy with a weird name. Pegasus."

The male flinched sharply, face taking on the look of someone who had swallowed a whole lemon with angry veins popping out all along his skin as the calm woman coughed quietly into her fist. "That's...that's me. Kashiwazaki _Tenma_ at your service." the man introduced through harshly gritted teeth before sucking in a breath to do a complete one-eighty. Extending his slightly twitching arm for a handshake he slapped on a fragile grin of his own. "Just because the characters are written as 'sky' and 'horse'...anyways it's finally nice to meet you Naruto-kun."

Taking the clearly weaker hand into his own the blond sage took care not to overpower it and injured the other's grip. "Ah...yeah. You too, I think."

"And since we're on the subject of meeting new people allow me to introduce to you the steward of the house, Stella." With a small wave he motioned to the silent third of their group, dressed like a male butler in her black dress pants, tailcoat with golden buttons, white undershirt, and a small dark ribbon pinned and looped around her collar. She was just a bit shorter compared to the two men though she had to be older than the teen, with bright blue eyes and shiny yellow hair which fell down to her neck and framed her face in slightly wavy curls. Both were a few shades off from Naruto's own and it wouldn't have been a surprise if someone asked if the two were related.

Stella was also startlingly pretty; the only makeup she seemed to use was shiny pink lipstick and maybe something along her long eyelashes.

Bowing deferentially, the blonde woman then straightened up. "A pleasure to make you acquaintance, _Fishcake_-sama."

This time it was Naruto's turn to glare as Stella acted as though she did nothing wrong. Tenma, however, burst into laughter at the double meaning of the jinchuriki's own name since the employee clearly did so on purpose. Reduced to chuckling the adult's grin came more naturally due in part to the common problem both faced.

"Aaaah...it's nice to see somebody else be the target of Stella's teasing. People just don't understand that our names have only one meaning we like and another we could care less about. Jiraiya-kun used to zing me all the time as well, that long-haired sonofa-...*ahem*. How is the old pervert anyways? I haven't heard from him in some time and honestly I'm surprised he isn't here with you. You mentioned he wanted to bring you along. Did his work get in the way again?"

Had he been less inclined to the hardships of life, the shinobi would have flinched. Or even found his eyes watering at remembering the goofy older warrior. Yet acceptance and the passage of time allowed Naruto to feel the sadness over his teacher's murder but acknowledge he was gone, without devolving into a pity party after already grieving for the loss. In fact the jinchuriki was proud to know the man cared about him enough to use his full power protecting his godson from those who would do him harm. "No. He died a little while back. Or killed would be the more proper term."

Tenma's face fell instantly as the blond's words rang in his ears. Glancing sideways at his maid, the Kashiwazaki flicked his chin towards a nearby hallway. "...is the East Wing sitting room currently available?"

"Of course. It's now spring so I've been taking to air out all the rooms."

"That's good enough."

Soon after the ninja found himself sitting at a small table across from Pegasus, recounting what he knew of Jiraiya's battle against Pein in Amegakure. The man knew of the secretive world hidden away from modern civilization in due part to his shinobi contact, but naturally there was much the taller black-haired man was unaware of. Just that they were ninja really, and that life was lot more...frantic, as it were. Death could come at any moment when you lived in the Elemental Nations. Not to say a person couldn't just die out of the blue in Japan or the rest of the world, but life spans were relatively shorter over there.

Tenma was truly saddened to hear about the Konoha sage's passing as the powerful genin explained how his sensei had infiltrated the rain-slick streets of the isolated and industrialized village, only to wind up battling and ultimately dying against former students of his who he had taught to survive the violent battlegrounds of their country. Ironically enough...they were also high ranking members of the group that wanted Naruto's biju for themselves. At some point a bottle of wine was brought in by Stella, and she honestly seemed surprised that her boss was only sipping at the ruby red liquid instead of draining it down like usual.

Around an hour and a half after the senjutsu-wielder first arrived, the blonde matron returned to announce that dinner was prepared. Tenma drunkenly told Naruto he was staying for dinner despite only having (surprisingly) one glass of alcohol; Stella seemed to have known this would happen as she'd already notified the live-in cook to prepare food for three.

As messing with people seemed to be one of the butler's personality quirks, Naruto was forced to help Pegasus stagger to the dining room after she looked him straight in the eyes with her own impassive ones, announced dinner, and then gave the blond boy directions to where they were eating before promptly slipping back out the door.

Dropping the lush into one of the chairs he then took the single placing across the way. He figured Stella would be sitting next to her employer, and most likely help him get the utensils to his lips, so it was a bit of a surprise when she reappeared and stood courteously off to the side with a towel hanging off her arm instead of joining the pair of men.

"Aren't you gonna eat?" Naruto asked in spite of the ire he felt for getting stiffed with the Kashiwazaki's somewhat stinky breath. His golden-haired counterpart merely shook her head, sending the shiny locks swaying about her face.

"Those utensils are not for me." she intoned just as the sound of hurried footsteps picked up outside the large open door. A bundle of energy burst in with an arm outstretched in greeting, popping over with a slight wave to the stoic help before slipping into the last open spot at the table.

"Hi! Sorry I'm late! Ah, I wasn't expecting you to be here today Daddy!"

With a goofy smile, the drunk Pegasus pointed his fork in Naruto's general area. "Tha's because I wuz meetin' somebody..."

The bright newcomer, who turned out to be another girl, twisted her head to look in the same direction and the surprised smile on her face instantly disappeared as happiness turned into suspicion. She possessed the exact same tint to her eyes and hair as Stella did although unlike the working matron...this one was quite physically developed even with her average height, aptly noticeable through the school uniform draped over her full figure. Shorter but stacked, her bust line was at least twice the size of Stella's own slightly less-than-modest chest. Her hair was longer too, reaching down to brush against her back and shoulder blades with a distinguishable hairclip attached to the left of her skull. Shaped like a butterfly its outline was black with transparent blue in the wings and, to Naruto's eyes, looked to be crafted from glass.

Glossy lips immediately turned into a frown as the young woman regarded the only male with similarly yellow tresses. If there was one thing she could say for certain..._he looked like a complete idiot. _Those dumb marks on his cheeks made him look like a wannabe thug. Who wears bright orange, especially matched with black as though they were all geared up for Halloween? Her own choices in clothing might have been predetermined every morning but at least they didn't make her like the embodiment of a holiday.

"Sena-sama, my apologies. This young man is Uzumaki Naruto, the apprentice of the late Jiraiya, your father's friend and business associate." Stella announced languidly as the pair of blonds stared each other down. Only at her voice did they both finally break free, with the newly named Sena straightening in her seat as Naruto pulled out the trusty instructions penned sometime back before the toad summoners left for the three year training trip. The shinobi powerhouse quickly reread some lines before snorting and returning the page to his pocket.

"And what are you laughing at?" Kashiwazaki Sena asked pompously, merely seeing the boy as someone else who'd be drooling over her in a few minutes once the full effect over her beauty overtook him.

Instead he just picked up a spoon and began shoveling the soup into his mouth as well-mannered as he could. Wow...it actually tasted incredible. Taking a few more spoonfuls Naruto just flicked his eyes up to look at her again.

"It's just that, Ero-sennin might've been a super pervert and it was pretty shameful hearing him go on about it all the time, but I guess he did have good foresight."

Stella gently plucked the paper from between the jinchuriki's fingers after he retrieved it, passing it to her young mistress who immediately scanned over the Sannin's words before pausing to reread a certain section. One about _her_.

"Pegasus' daughter doesn't have much going for her now but in a few years my reliable senses are telling me she's going to have one heck of a figure!? What the hell is _this_!?"

"She gets it from her papa!" Tenma added before laughing uproariously, causing the eldest blonde in tow to constantly wipe at his chin lest he spill the finely made food everywhere.

Sena seemed like she couldn't decide whether or not to be disgusted by the old man's frighteningly accurate observations on her development so long ago, or pleased that her dad complimented her. Instead she took to ripping the notes into pieces and let them drift through her fingers; now Naruto was the one to overreact, jumping up and slapping his hands on the polished wood with enough force to jostle the fine china.

"Why'd you do that!? I don't have much left to remember him by!" At least in the way of possessions. There were always memories, and the man's stories, but the way she so callously tore it up grated at his nerves. At least Sena had the decency to appear sheepish over her irritated action.

Now that she thought about it, in the few times Jiraiya had been mentioned since she arrived the others were using terms that described he was no longer among the living. And if the male in bright colors was his student...

"Oh...I guess that was a bit rude." Releasing her anger through an explosive breath the busty teen eventually leaned forward to prop her cheek against her small fist with a knowing smirk. "Well, for my apology I'll let you be my footstool."

Naruto blanched as a vein jumped in his forehead, partly winding its way out from underneath the black hitai-ate wrapped around the skin. Stella covered her mouth with a hand in shock, releasing a soft 'oh my' despite clearly not being stunned by her charge's strange apology. Tenma just snored as the parent had finally fallen asleep mid-meal. Which was probably why Sena said her distinctly odd request for forgiveness without fear of retribution from her father.

Naruto was actually rendered mute before his brain rebooted and he fought the urge to shake the girl. "Are you kidding me!?"

"What, do you want me to sit on you instead?" she asked, genuinely curious.

"NO!"

"Sheesh, no one else is ever this disobedient."

With blue eyes growing dim from her legitimate belief he was some kind of masochist the ninja couldn't find the words to tell her off, lest of all without getting thrown off the property and ultimately destroying the link between himself and one of his teacher's old friends. So with a glare in her direction he quickly drained the rest of his soup gained from years of slurping down ramen broth. The genin sage then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and turned towards somebody who he could at least speak to properly. "Uh Stella, I think I'm just gonna go before I get too annoyed."

"Have you anywhere to go? It is growing late."

Looking out the nearby large window Naruto shrugged his shoulders. "Not really. I'm kinda in between jobs right now." Which was true since the rest of Team Seven was locked in recovery since they overused and abused their powers. Sai would be in a lot of casts for a month or so, Sakura nearly killed herself through chakra exhaustion and was bedridden under the care of her parents and the occasional medic though lately she'd been taking walks outside, Kakashi's eyes were overtly stressed after possessing Obito's Sharingan and he just stayed asleep as much as he could since walking around with both orbs covered was ridiculous, and Sasuke...well, he was just as stubborn as Naruto and left on his 'journey' the moment he gained use of his arm again.

So there wasn't much a front-line fighter could do in the meantime as his teammates recovered from their aches and pains. Despite proving how much of a leader he truly was, the entire continent was trying to recoup their losses and up their strength even though the villages were now all on friendly terms forged through the hardships of war. He himself had been tired alongside everybody else, and nearly kicking the bucket was a huge downer, but the blond always healed up quickly and got his energy back faster than anybody else living in Konoha. Which was why the buxom Senju allowed her faux grandson to travel without any fear of danger. Who was going to present Naruto with trouble? Akatsuki? Bandits? Rogue nin? Good luck trying to take down one of the main heroes against Kaguya's revolution.

"Jobs? You have to work?"

"Yes," Naruto snarked at Sena's inquiring but still superior tone, "Some of us don't have rich parents to let us coast through life without having to do _anything_."

Sena's squawk made him grin triumphantly, even as her blue eyes narrowed and she bit her lip angrily as the irritation returned in full force, fists clenching against the table's lacy covering. Only Stella's soft hand at the Uzumaki's arm stopped the coming storm as the more mature woman (age wise) began routing him out the door after bowing her head towards her unconscious boss and his daughter. "Then come with me Fishcake-sama, I already know you would be presented with a bed to stay the night, if Tenma-sama had not fallen asleep because of his pathetic tolerance. I am sure Jiraiya-sama's old room will suffice."

Feeling eyes on him he turned just to see the gorgeous teen stick her tongue out at him in a last act of defiance, which he returned in full force before the hallway swallowed Naruto up. Scoffing angrily, the young Kashiwazaki finally picked up her eating utensil and spooned the now cooler meal into her mouth, muttering scornfully about their 'guest'. "Stupid idiot poop jerk asshole..."

Naruto was feeling the exact same way. His eyes bored a hole in the back of his guide's head as he followed along through the expansive mansion, doing his best to ignore her odd and disturbing barbs involving making her pregnant should he stare any harder. Was this whole household insane? If he wasn't so fixated on how this woman could work under _that_ one, he probably would have been reduced to a stuttering, confused mess over such a random perverted comment.

Instead he simply asked, "How the hell do you work for such a weirdo?"

"Sena-sama has her...quirks. As do we all."

Tenma was an easy drunk, Stella liked to make things awkward, and Sena apparently had a thing for being some sort of sadist. Yeah. He could agree to that.

"So...are you related to her somehow? You really look alike."

"My family has served the Kashiwazaki family for years," she said simply before opening a door and ushering him inside. Like everything else he'd seen, the bedroom looked positively luxurious and someone had already made the bed for him. Probably Stella. The woman moved over to close the large window for night before turning and giving him a polite bow. "The bathroom is through there. Have a pleasant evening, Naruto-sama."

"Um, yeah. Night."

The emotionless steward proceeded to leave as Naruto was left alone. This had been a...interesting visit one could say, but the ninja could see how Jiraiya and Tenma got along. They both looked super stern but at the flip of a coin the two turned into complete idiots. Business partner he said? Good grief, Ero-sennin must have peddled his smut out here too.

And yet that wasn't so surprising.

Stripping out of his clothes until he was left in his boxers, the Uzumaki quickly went to the bathroom and prepared for bed before slipping underneath the far too soft sheets on the overly comfortable mattress. Having traveled for so long, and the heavily cozy atmosphere, allowed Naruto to quickly drift off to sleep. He wasn't the only one though; Pegasus was still out like a light and even by now Stella and the live-in chef had turned in for the evening.

The only person still awake was Sena, who sat atop her large cozy bed stewing over the fact a man besides her father had brushed off her saintly compassion and feminine charm like it was nothing. That had never happened before. All men at St. Chronica Academy fell to their knees in her presence...so the jerk blond friend of a friend of her dad's was an anomaly.

Bah. What was one male in the face of the entire populace of her school?

And yet Kashiwazaki Sena angrily couldn't get his stupid whiskered face out of her head for the rest of the night.

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"Eh hehehe...uh, sorry about that."

"You're not the first drunk I've had to deal with."

Early the next morning, years of routine caused Naruto to wake in an effort to reach Kakashi (and then later Jiraiya's) ridiculous meet up times. He laid around though, since there wasn't actually a pressing need for him to move his ass. By the time the sun peeked through the window and he had redressed, a soft knock came to the door to serve as his alarm clock. Stella guided him back to the dining room where he was then served breakfast. Joining him was Pegasus who naturally looked a bit hung over, and his pretty daughter completely ignored their guest despite constantly looking at him out of the corner of her eye like it wasn't noticeable.

The meal passed in relative silence before Sena finally finished, hugged her dad, glared at Naruto, received her schoolbag from Stella, and left with a cheery wave to those she actually liked.

The moment the female butler departed to drive Tenma's child to her destination, he changed gears again and stood only to drop back into the seat across from the blond where he apologized for his...lightweight nature. The black-haired man twitched ever so slightly at the crack but surprisingly the adult suddenly dropped into a business-like manner. Inhaling, he began to speak again.

"I see you're getting along with my daughter."

Naruto's eyes involuntarily narrowed. "Oh yeah. Really well."

Tenma sighed and crossed his arms before simply speaking his mind. "I really love her, but honestly I worry about her while she's at school. Since you just met Sena you're unaware of this but she just seems to have no...friends. She never goes anywhere in a group, or invites anyone over, and I just...I worry about her personal life. It's not exactly normal when a teenager doesn't have any close, non-familial relationships to foster."

Having known the exact same problem at one point in his life, the shinobi nodded along slowly. "Well that sucks...and sorry for saying, but I have no idea why you brought it up."

"I may have drank myself silly last night but I still remember bits and pieces of the conversation over dinner." Never mind he'd only had _one _glass of wine to put him in that state. That was convenient for Sena and her weird sadism though, unless the father already knew about his kid's oddity. Probably not...since any normal parent would have put a stop to it the moment the quirk was discovered. Then again they were _all_ weird. Ugh. "I believe I recall overhearing you were on some sort of standby from your profession, which I find odd considering Jiraiya-kun mentioned how anyone could simply ask for a new mission."

"At the moment there isn't much for me to do. Hell, I don't even know how long I'll be kept in reserve after all the work I recently did." Saving the world and stopping a few crazies automatically meant others believed he needed to rest. It just wasn't the shinobi's style though to laze around while others continued to work. So if anything, traveling out here at least got Naruto doing something.

"I see. Then wait here a moment." The other man got to his feet and strode away leaving Naruto by himself at the table. He returned soon enough, with pen and paper in hand. Pegasus scribbled a few paragraphs he couldn't read upside-down from his chair before signing his name with a flourish, folded it up, and sealed it in a very professional manner. "Are you able to call forth an animal like Jiraiya-kun could?"

Why yes he could. And with orders to take the letter and its enclosed message to Konoha's leader, the pair were forced to wait for an answer to Pegasus' mysterious memo once the toad knew what it had been called for. The reply came around an hour later, of which the twosome spent sharing stories about the lone person who brought them together, and the small amphibian handed the letter back to the elder Kashiwazaki with an accompanied croak.

Breaking the Hokage's wax seal, the man scanned over a smaller piece of paper with some lazy sentences scratched along its width before he smirked and pulled forth a _very _recognizable piece of paperwork. The kind Naruto saw all the time in the mission room of the Hokage's Tower he was vastly familiar with.

Tenma signed his name on a blank line before nodding once and placing a a small stack of large-denominated bills in the envelope along with the document. He handed it all back to the toad who abruptly disappeared once again with a small salute. Handy little buggers, those things.

"Did you just-?"

"I did," the man responded cheerfully as Stella finally stepped into the room, a few bags of groceries in her arms marking what had taken up her time, "This Senju Tsunade person was all for the idea."

"What did you do now, sir?" The pretty older blonde was rather confused. Given she had missed the last hour or so after taking Sena to the academy, it seemed like once again her boss had done something without her supervision. He would have done it anyway regardless but her presence would have allowed the woman to tell him if it was stupid.

As he turned to the steward, the dark-haired male was starting to showcase a grin. "Me? Just creating a new business opportunity for my departed friend's godson and the village he hails from." He then turned to the blue-eyed boy and his smile became calmer as he leaned forward and crossed his arms. "As I mentioned before, I worry for my daughter. Not just because she seems to have a lack of peers to call upon, but because we're rich. I might only be the chairman of a school but as you can clearly see, my family is well off. Luckily the Kashiwazaki's have never really had any problems with kidnapping or ransoms, stuff like that, but that's not to say it _couldn't_ happen. So...to answer your question Stella...Naruto-kun here is now on the payroll as Sena's bodyguard until further notice."

"...and I get no say in this?"

"Well, I did put forth a solo mission request to your Hokage detailing the outlines of the job. She approved it and you work under her, regardless of personal opinion on the matter. Isn't that how these things work?"

Naruto scratched his head. "Ah...yeah." It's not that he was angry over having something to do now...but Sena was annoying, and that was something he learned from just from one encounter. BUT it was merely a guardian thing; he'd filled that role before with targets that irritated him. As long as he grinned, bore it, and then got even in some way it wouldn't be too bad. "Well if that's what has to be done then I'm not going to turn it down."

Pegasus clapped his hands together in triumph at finally finding another way to help his little girl. "Thank you. This means a lot. Stella, would you be so kind as to retrieve fresh enrollment forms for me?" The stoic employee nodded before leaving to fulfill the request, her superior running a hand along his scalp before looking back towards the jinchuriki. "Due to my daughter's current placement, you will need a means of remaining close to her and thankfully I have such a way. Congratulations Naruto-kun. You now have the chairman of Tooya City's first and foremost Catholic high school backing your enrollment into the academy. I hope you do your best in the future."

Ugh...school? That made it even worse. But it was a job. And he was a ninja. There'd been enough excitement to last a lifetime already, so maybe something dull and boring could even it all out. He did have one question though, raising a hand like the student he was about to become:

"Real quick though? What the hell is 'Catholic' and what does that have to do with anything?"

Tenma stared blankly before sighing. Perhaps there was going to be more to this anyone than first thought.

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**I mentioned in the fifth chapter of Skill Set about whether or not I should create one of those story things like I've seen others do, where they put down plot ideas that they've created but won't make into stories. I wasn't sure, but then again I've got a couple documents with random story lines I wouldn't mind sharing.**

**So as you can see, I did it anyways.**

**I like this series. It gets a bit...okay, really crazy sometimes, but it's still a nice little thing to read. Haganai is what it's called here in the West and, for those who don't know, is a series about a bunch of teens who have trouble making friends forming a club to learn exactly how to do that. Except they're all insane in some way, except perhaps the main character, which only detracts from any social life they try to make. There's a harem aspect too but for one thing, Kodaka the MC only seems to act oblivious instead of actually being dense like most other series. I guess he likes hanging out with everyone and doesn't want to fuck it all up. Or at least that's what it seems like.**

**Aaaaaaaanywho...Naruto becomes Sena's bodyguard in this. He enrolls in the school despite the fact he's not one for schoolwork, to guard a person whose ego matches Madara's on the 'I'm so awesome' scale. It would essentially become Sena forcing the ninja to join the group when she does despite the fact he already has a whole slew of friends himself, and from there...I'm not too sure yet. But it wouldn't be a serious story since I don't count on any big shonen fights breaking out.**


	2. Korra

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these.

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Naruto/ Avatar: The Legend of Korra

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With legs crossed and knuckles curled together in meditation, Uzumaki Naruto breathed out all the air in his lungs before inhaling slowly. The rush of natural energy that surrounded and pervaded anything and everything was no longer kept at bay; the natural barrier that separated man and nature dissolved as the blond shinobi allowed the potent fuel to enter his own pathways. A very dangerous course of action, but having been trained by the toads into utilizing and enduring the awesome power it merely mixed itself with the jinchuriki's own personal chakra and harmonized perfectly.

On the inside he now had an equal combination of yin, yang, and nature flowing through his veins which created a power without equal. Yet outside, the boy still had yet to move a muscle. In fact, he looked like any other statue in the yard...except not made of stone, or shaped like a giant toad. That didn't stop the few birds in the area from using Naruto's still form as their newest perch. To their instinctual senses the blond was no longer considered the least bit threatening. Like a tree or rock the ninja now lacked any sort of presence to differentiate him from nature itself.

Fukasaku silently watched as his student began to meditate before hopping away. Ever since the climax of Kaguya's sealing along with the entire world no longer in danger of destruction, the Uzumaki had started spending more and more time with the toads on Mount Myouboku. The rebuilding had gone as well as one would think, but with the Elemental Nations still in disarray and the mercenaries' way of life disrupted by the pointless war it meant there wasn't much for a front-line fighter/army killer to do. Embracing the peace of the swampy mountain had called out to him, and it gave him the tranquility to reflect within himself over all had he undergone during Madara and Obito's worldly coup.

Plus, with the second moon that constituted the Ten-tail's new tomb now hovering high in the sky over the interconnected realms of the summoning dimension, it let the boy discreetly keep an eye out for any changes in the Chibaku Tensei (**Heavenly Body Bursting From the Earth**) that sealed away their greatest foe. It took _a lot_ of time, chakra, and sealing arrays to transport the massive construct through time and space but they couldn't just leave the new heavenly body floating in the atmosphere of another reality far from their own. Thank Hagoromo for doing most of the work before this ghost of the past finally vanished back into the folds of the world's energy.

As the growing shadows of the day cast across his face Naruto's paid it no mind due to his consciousness being in a completely different place. Within his mindscape he spent plenty of time just conversing with Kurama to uphold his promise of truly breaking its feelings of hatred, speaking with the tailed-beast that was placed inside since the day he was born. None of the other biju remained after all the fighting. One by one their chakras and voices dissipated from within the male without the real deals replenishing them. It was...sort of lonely after growing accustomed to their presence but he understood it was just a temporary boon. For sixteen years it'd been just him and the Kyuubi, and as far as Naruto was concerned that's all he'd really need until the end of his life.

The other half of Kurama, Naruto's original yang portion, had willingly allowed itself to return to the prison of human flesh. Sealing that section of the Kyuubi back inside the jinchuriki while there was already something similar already strengthening his tenketsu had been a bit tricky and even took the boy out of commission for a day or so to acclimatize to the Nine-tail's full power. Which was ironic considering the amount of energy placed inside his body when fighting Kaguya. Then again, Naruto knew the dangers of messing up the formula when mixing chakra together. Something as potent as a biju's, separated for close to two decades and then suddenly thrust back together, needed some time to find its harmony once more.

Though Kurama was complete again, the oddest part was how there were still two whenever he dove to visit them. The pair actually liked their independence considering they'd been apart for so long and when the time came it would still reemerge as one body, but for now Kurama had someone else to share the watery landscape of Naruto's mind with. Namely itself. One with the vibrant orange fur full of life, the other a few shades off which appeared darker and heavier.

Weird, but if that's what they wanted...

However right now after his daily quiet time the blond sat in front of the toad statue grotto marked only by the sounds of nature and a pool filled with viscous brown toad oil. He could feel something was off, especially now that he had harmonized in sage mode. Sensations; a foreboding tickle at the back of his skull. It always brought him to here, the place where he originally trained to conquer sage mode and that's why it bugged him so much. Mount Myouboku and the other lands that surrounded it were places of peace. Summon creatures may have fought each other over borders and outright rivalries but otherwise left each other alone. It was nothing like their parallel reality of the Elemental Nations.

Wait. It wasn't the surroundings...the unrest was coming from _inside_ the toad oil pond. How that was possible Naruto didn't know but he figured he could only tell because of his sage training and new sensitivity to such matters.

He was currently clad in the chakra of senjutsu to act as a buffer. He figured it would protect him. If not, then at least he already helped save the world before becoming an unmoving column shaped like a toad. There was a lot the blond still had yet to do with his life but the fact a spring of pure, condensed nature energy felt out of whack took precedence. He _was_ the only sage of the toads left after all. And as a master of the art that meant it was up to him to discover the cause.

Pa only heard Naruto mutter 'here we go' as he came back to check up on his favorite blond before a jolt of true fear ran through his small, aged system while watching the boy do something incredibly idiotic: the jinchuriki took a deep breath before simply rolling forward into the thick muck. Fukasaku was instantly at the lip of the ancient pool with his cane immersed as far as he could reach. Yet no matter how much he wiggled the stick around in a futile effort to find the boy and give him something to grab onto, the old toad was simply unable to even swipe up against him. Naruto was gone and...well, why the hell did he do this?!

And how flipping deep was this pond?!

* * *

He was falling. That much was certain. In the beginning it was all blackness and oil as his body continued to sink before suddenly...there was a light. Like, he was underwater staring towards the surface on a bright sunny day even as his lungs began to burn and the blond involuntarily took a breath. But there was no air. And he didn't need to breathe, reflexively gagging on emptiness as nothing flowed into his mouth to unwillingly clog his lungs. Embarrassed at himself he simply kept floating along since there wasn't anything going to make him drown. His ears popped sometime ago though and there had been a weird pressure permeating his entire body which slowly drained sage mode away before...nothing. He felt like he always did on a normal day despite just sort of floating around before Naruto realized there was another light further down.

He started to swim through the odd space because the illumination carried the same uneasiness that originally caused the Uzumaki to make his move in the first place.

The closer he got the brighter it grew. The ninja reached out his hand to touch the dazzling center, simultaneously forced to shield his eyes lest they burn, and as his finger vanished beyond the glare there was a sudden twist of vertigo and Naruto was on his feet standing on a simple grassy plain near a great twisted forest. It looked like any regular old environment save for the colors; lighter or strange shades that clearly showed the shinobi wasn't exactly on the mountain anymore. The energy in the surrounding location was completely different and felt like it was missing something vital. This couldn't have been the Elemental Nations.

Everything was off.

Even with that in mind the sensation of negativity was now gathered far to the northeast. Shrugging to himself, since he noticed he was completely alone even with sage mode and its sensor ability still activated, Naruto began to run. Speed wasn't currently a factor but even as he jumped into the nearby trees and began leaping through them with ease like any chakra-user born in the Land of Fire the distance seemed to stretch on and on. He couldn't tell how much time passed but the blond began to somehow suspect he was going in circles. Quickly raising his fingers into the ram seal, a pulse of chakra exploded from his body to try and dispel any genjutsu like Sakura taught him to do. The foliage rippled from his naturally stronger technique, but nothing changed. No cracking of metaphorical glass as his senses normalized or sudden scene shifts as the illusion overloaded and failed.

Which meant he was just imagining things. The darkness was still out there and he never strayed from the straightness of his path. The Konoha native never ventured from the direction of his target and once again the nature chakra powering his being proved the danger was still on the horizon, though it the energy returned to him at a far quicker pace. Taking a deep breath Naruto kicked his legs out and started moving again; if he kept at it then sooner or later the jinchuriki would be out of the trees and no longer seeing things.

Even if that rock with the glowing purple fungus looked rather familiar...

* * *

Gamabunta's giant hand fished around, the incredibly large toad grumbling to himself as he was forced to search for the idiot boy he begrudgingly liked. When Ma came hopping up like a madwoman, crying out that Naruto was gone and Pa couldn't find him, the boss summon and his cohorts figured the blue-eyed ninja just poofed home. But then when Shima exclaimed her husband saw the brat jump into the toad oil like he was suicidal..._then _the weighty amphibians felt some alarm. Gamakichi was the first to move, followed by Hiro, Tatsu, and Ken. Bunta was the last but that didn't mean he was feeling no less worry.

Long pointed fingers scraped against the bottom of the pool as the limb submerged itself up to a dry, meaty wrist. Despite the search and the way the brown liquid now overflowed into the small clearing, Gamabunta couldn't find hide nor hair of their lone summoner. His body vanished somehow. Snapping his hand to flick off the oil the smoking animal grunted in irritation and peered way, way down at the elderly toad near his feet. It would take some time for any after-effects to damage his massive frame, giving the animal much time to bleed it off at his own pace.

"**There's absolutely nothing in there. Besides all the oil, I couldn't find him. It's like he vanished.**"

Ma suddenly sobbed, consoled by Gamatatsu at the grim announcement. But Pa was biting the tip of his lengthy thumb in heavy contemplation; a person didn't just _disappear_ into thin air. Except when summons were involved. However, the old creature already tried a reverse summoning which revealed nothing. Naruto hadn't returned in a puff of smoke as they hoped, no matter how much chakra was put into the technique. The silver lining here among all the strangeness was the fact their lovable blond was still alive. His name hadn't changed at all on the scroll, meaning he was at least still breathing.

Just missing.

Setting a palm softly on his wife's shoulder Fukasaku peered into her teary face with a forced grin. "He ain't dead yet, Ma. We'll get him back. We've just hit a snag. In the meantime, I'm gonna go speak with the Elder Toad Sage to see if he has any idea on what's going on." Shima could only nod her head slowly as the second elder flipped his cloak around and jumped away, hopefully to find an answer to their sudden troubles.

Bunta sighed at the day's events. He liked the fact he was technically in retirement, with his first son taking the reigns as a boss summon so he could sit around and drink and smoke all day. But now their dumbass of a blond went and upset Shima with whatever scheme he cooked up in that tiny brain of his.

When he got back the orange-skinned toad was going to sit on him, plain and simple.

* * *

With a last huff of energy, the remains of the nature chakra in Naruto's tenketsu vanished again, leaving him a panting and somewhat sweaty jinchuriki. He hated the feeling of weakness that always followed the end of sage mode, especially since he _still _wasn't out of this damn forest. And whatever ensnared him was doing one hell of a job; he'd memorized the appearance of the purplish stone since he kept passing it by and yet the trees and branches he traversed weren't ever familiar. Either he was losing it...or he should've taken a different route to the uneasy energy signature instead of cutting through the woods despite it being a welcome terrain to any leaf nin.

Dropping to the forest floor the Uzumaki sat against the trunk of a tree with his back against the oddly textured bark. The coolness of the air helped the tired ninja breathe easier, but unless he came up with a new plan of attack then the blond wasn't going anywhere. Maybe borrowing Kurama's chakra for awhile and simply blowing his way out of the area like a torpedo? Yeah, that should work! He was tired of not making any progress and who knows how long he'd been there?

Within his seal, the twin foxes reached out their long limbs from where they sat side by side and pressed their fists together. Despite the biju being whole again, only the yang portion traded itself for Naruto's own chakra because the male needed speed, not the power of a fully realized jinchuriki. Becoming a large vulpine would have brought him above the tree line _but _the blond had no idea where he was and didn't feel like drawing unnecessary attention from any possible locals. The human reflex was to respond with force and anger upon seeing something they couldn't comprehend. A massive nine-tailed fox would do just that.

Instead his entire form began to glow with a golden orange, jacket growing into a long coat while dark black markings swirled along the bright energy to form intricate markings. The power of the Kyuubi was no trifling matter; any and all exhaustion was wiped away by the invigorating life energy. Clenching a fist, Naruto swiped the limb out as he grinned before vanishing in a small streak of light straight through the spaces in between the trees.

For the next half hour the area was aglow with Naruto's orangey-yellow energy zipping around like a speedy firefly. Until he reached the same rock for the umpteenth time and the blond _seriously _considered blowing up his damn surroundings just to get away. Angrily punching a tree and watching as it exploded outwards the ninja huffed and looked towards the sky. It was completely dark by now; how long exactly had it been since he entered the toad's spring?

"Hello there!"

Squinting towards the sound, Naruto could only make out the soft glow of a lantern at the edge of the tree. Another few steps revealed the hazy figure of a man dressed in a rich green kimono and sleeveless overcoat that looked far more expensive than anything Naruto ever owned in his life, his belly strained against the silken fabric...yet if push came to shove the jinchuriki had the dire feeling this person's age and physical shape wouldn't hinder him in the slightest. He was bald save for a thick long beard that connected to a crown of white hair ringing the back and sides of his skull. And as the distance between them closed it revealed his eyes had surprisingly golden irises that shown with wisdom and kindness.

Powering down, the light in the small expanse of trees dimmed to a trickle with its only source coming from the man's lamp. He merely quirked an eyebrow towards the blatant show of odd ability from the Uzumaki but other than that he didn't seem very apprehensive. "Hi," Naruto greeted calmly as the other male finished making his way forward, glancing at the destruction caused by the blond's hissy fit.

"It appears you are in need of some help my friend," the elder stated with a rather accented voice, "You made quite the splash, and the spirits came and begged me to get you out of here since you're keeping them up with all the light. Destroying their homes isn't very nice either."

As he said this, a few unnatural looking creatures peered out from behind some of trees behind the man. Naruto winced as they seemed to chitter at him in disapproval before he nodded, holding up a hand to stall the man from leading him away. "Gimme a moment," the blonde declared before clapping his palms together and focusing after a small string of handsigns. From the shattered trunk quickly grew a healthy replica of the downed tree, to the point it seemed as if it was never even damaged in the first place. During the process the gray-haired man watched with idle curiosity, fingers running down the length of his beard in thought.

"That is quite a skill you have there. One of many, at that. I see now firsthand why your presence has been requested."

"What do you mean?"

"You have a great bond with nature itself...the elder spirits fear that the world will soon face many trials, and that the avatar will shoulder a truly heavy burden that cannot be handled alone. I apologize for their rash actions," Iroh of the Fire Nation said before bowing to the ninja, "But thank you for answering their call."

"Is that what that was? No matter how much I meditated, that uneasy feeling wouldn't go away. Then I guess I...yup, I did something stupid again and jumped in the pool." Naruto clapped a hand against his face. "Ma's going to kill me..."

"Yes. After spending much time here I believe I know which pool you speak of. The Spirit World has many pathways to and from the physical realm...but not all of them lead to the world I once lived in. Anyways, please come with me. My name is Iroh, and I will be your guide."

"Naruto. Nice to meet you."

"No, young Naruto. The honor is all mine." The old man smiled before turning to lead the teen out of the woods. As he stated, it was quite an honor to meet the boy who was on par with the avatar, or at least one of them. The other potential, that Sasuke...while he had mellowed, the Uchiha did not share the same sort of bond with the spiritual and natural dimensions that Naruto did.

It was going to be difficult though, and the deceased Fire Nation general/ tea shop owner could not lie to the male with strangely colored hair. His presence would alter the world of benders and he himself would experience changes. There would be no going back. Iroh would explain what the spirits foresaw happening to him and if he chose to return home, then so be it. The current generation of the avatar would simply forge ahead on her own, just as all the prior versions of the bending prodigy did before her. Oh sure, she would have friends, family, and comrades to call upon in times of need...but this reincarnation of the avatar would face some of the toughest challenges any of her cycles ever worked to fix before.

The balance would shift soon. Iroh hoped the dissolving stability between the worlds would be offset by this rogue element:

Uzumaki Naruto.

* * *

**I don't care what other people thought of it. I like the Korra series, and the avatar series as a whole. The concept of controlling elements through martial arts is pretty darn awesome.**

**So Naruto winds up in the Spirit World before making his way into the real world through another spiritual portal at the Banyan-grove tree in the swamp. I get that the north and south poles have the spirit portals, but it's possible that such a place like the swamp is capable of doing so as well. He'd meet Toph and eventually find his way to Republic City where all the shit starts going down.**

**It's not all OP Naruto though. I had an idea that helps him fit in without steamrolling everything...or at least later on.**


	3. Dead or Alive

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these things

* * *

Naruto/Dead or Alive

* * *

Today was the day. Everything would come to a head. Make or break. She couldn't decide whether or not to smile at the thought or buckle under the stress. It would be a life changing moment, not just for herself, and everything had to be perfect to make sure her plans would go off without a hitch.

Breathing in, the young woman stared at her nude form reflected in the full length mirror in the corner of her room and exhaled slowly to calm her nerves.

Fingers lightly pressed against the fair skin of her face, brushing lengthy and well-maintained locks out of her eyes before slowly trailing downward. The digits slipped against her thin throat and stopped momentarily between the clavicles as the line of sight was inevitably drawn to her supple breasts. Somewhat large for her age after she started developing a bit earlier than others, luckily the mounds weren't _too_ big as to be cumbersome and get in the way during a fight. Thankfully her clothing usually kept them adequately contained. Shaking her head the girl then proceeded to ignore her ample chest and continued running a critical eye over her figure.

Down through her cleavage, over the solid muscle of her stomach only to take a moment to run her palms over her hips; wide but attractive in ways that enticed anyone who was lucky enough to see the curves beneath her loose clothing. Long and thin legs sensually moved upwards into a tight, round derriere gained through plenty of exercise. It would aid her well in completing her utmost goal.

The goal taking place tonight.

Involving a boy.

Alone and intimate if everything worked out as she hoped.

Swallowing at the thought, one last look for self-confidence later the young woman had dressed in a violet kimono to try and blend in with crowd despite her defining features and went to prepare for the day.

_And_ the night.

It was by the decision of her clan that she got this boy completely enamored with her for...personal reasons. It probably helped that he already knew what she felt about him. Having told it to his face...couldn't make it much clearer. But even now he remained pitifully dense sometimes, which meant more drastic measures had to be taken to get the point completely across on how serious she was. Tying him up by way of her body was one of the easiest courses to take to meet everyone's demands. Not all women went on missions where they needed to manipulate another's lust and use such a basic emotion to get their way but as a kunoichi it was expected she know how to do such things, whether or not she ever actually used them throughout her career.

Not that she was exactly being forced into anything involving the 'target', but a bit more time to mentally prepare would have been greatly appreciated. In fact it didn't even start out as a 'seduction mission' but instead getting him to see things their way without a hassle. When too much time passed for the clan's liking, **then** they ordered the girl to ensnare him by any means necessary. Word was received from a messenger revealing the timeframe had been moved up. The _problem_ was if she didn't do it herself and chickened out...then her sister was expected to step up and do the job. And that was a major dilemma. Not only because it meant someone would disrupt the work she put into the relationship and from a close family member of all things, but because the sibling was...not exactly a kind person. When they were younger the two girls were quite amicable and played together for hours on end as the best of friends. But time is cruel, and the village and its many bitter secrets eventually forced them apart, with the girl's sister growing haughty and antagonistic because of her place in life compared to the first lady's.

She'd probably grab him within the first minutes and either force herself upon him because that's what was ordered or just knock his ass out and drag him in.

If her friend was seduced by the other, any notion of pleasure promised by the sister would ultimately be a lie and he would be used by her, plain and simple. In fact it felt like the other girl was looking forward to the original failure just so she could step in and get the job done herself. Then it would finally be over and they could all get on with their lives.

After all this time getting close to him it would be a shame for it to be all stepped on and discarded like trash.

Slipping back into her room the woman quickly bathed to be rid of any excess sweat or dirt accrued from her errands and began to pull on the outfit she'd decided on for the evening: silky black thighhighs with matching bra, panties, and garter belt. Simple but highly effective. The female clerk had a knowing smirk during the purchase of the items, making their new owner flush before scampering out of the store. If the lingerie didn't seem _too_ suspicious about what was in mind then the condoms were a dead giveaway of what she had planned. And now with the underwear hugging her curvaceous body...she had to admit it made her look pretty darn sexy.

Throwing on a robe at the sound of knocking it didn't take long before the very man she both wanted and didn't want to see was in the apartment she was currently renting away from home, only because of her damnable mission. And as the caring person he was, after finishing his training for the day he stopped by to see if she wanted to get some food (because he was just thoughtful like that)...but, when she dropped the gown and revealed the attire underneath, he caught the hint that she didn't plan on anybody leaving anytime soon. That, and the sound of the door clicking shut and locking under the control of her deft fingers.

Red as they both became from the implications it only took a bit of gentle prodding by the blushing female before she embraced his form and began using what she learned in class to make him get something else besides ramen on the mind for once, embarrassing as it all was. The idea someone was willing to sleep with him had rooted him to the spot but lightly tugging him towards the bed started the chain reaction. No one else apparently had the guts to take him in such a way yet but she soldiered on, emulating his personal creed of not backing down under pressure. Oh, he was such a sweetheart though. By the time she'd extricated him of his own clothes and the pair only had thin fabric keeping them from taking that final plunge her lover had gently held her by the cheeks and asked if this was what she really wanted.

It was, assignment or not.

Pleasing him before everything changed was...the least she could do in case- er, _before_ things went downhill. In fact she was lucky she could have her first time with someone so honorable unlike the tales she'd heard about other girls' forays into sexual adulthood. The male might have been a thickheaded goofy fool but his positive outlook on life, no matter how troubling it became, was envious. He could be so endearing and caring. And on the rare occasion where he became serious the sight was honestly a turn-on. If...if he hated her after tonight because he learned that she took a major chance on their friendship because of her clan's demands then she at least hoped he also learned that the sex wasn't only because she felt duty-bound by the mission parameters.

Lying on her back in the growing darkness of evening, the unnatural texture of the condom hovering against her entrance was a cause for anxiety. But staring deeply into those focused blue eyes hovering above her face made the girl bite her lip and nod. Seconds later the gasp of shock couldn't be contained as his length started to force apart the maiden tissue, tight muscle gained through training and untouched by chastity being molded to accommodate the new intrusion.

"A-are you okay?" he asked, worried over the obvious discomfort in her features and reflexively stopping his movement. It hurt. Yes. Oh yes. But not as much as it could have.

"Give me...a moment..."

Sliding a little further in a look of concentration overcame his roughish features when the male noticed something off against the rudimentary knowledge gained from a questionable teacher. "...no hymen?"

"Broke years ago." Giving him a teary but encouraging smile, the girl exhaled and copied his prior gesture by cupping one of his whiskered cheeks. "Y-you can start now, but please g-go slowly."

And as it was, the two made love as well as two virgins could. It wasn't until nightfall that the woman decided it was her turn to be on top, a palm inconspicuously grazing against the top of her stocking and subtly removing an item she'd concealed before she began to move. After the last round came to a head her supple form rested contentedly atop his larger one, the heat generated by their skin cooling under a sheen of sweat while the two were still connected at the hips. When she gave a quiet sniffle, he tilted her chin for a look at her face. When she readjusted and lifted her torso up for a clearer look at his, it was the stray tear slowly gathering at the edge of her eye that was a cause for alarm.

"What's wrong?" Uzumaki Naruto asked in concern, wiping the condensation away with the edge of his thumb. "Do you...regret this?"

The girl's lips trembled as they struggled to form into an expression of reassurance but ultimately couldn't finish the gesture. Swiftly shaking her head, fiery auburn-red hair bounced around before settling and hanging down like a soft curtain of flame. Similarly crimson eyes blinked rapidly before Kasumi of the Mugen Tenshin ninja clan choked out a timid 'I'm sorry' before the blond jinchuriki and savior of the Elemental Nations felt her petite hand slide in between their stomachs as everything went wrong. His body locked up completely while the advanced paralysis tag placed against his abs and biju seal caused the entirety of his musculature to seize up, as well as the link between his body and energy grow completely unstable. Left in a state similar to a helpless child unable to draw on any chakra the infiltrating kunoichi quickly and efficiently got in close and then disabled Konohagakure no Sato's strongest ninja and war hero with one of the oldest ninja tricks around:

Sex.

The look in his frozen eyes was of complete shock followed by the orbs twitching slightly as the blond realized what had happened. Perhaps it was how his temporary lover looked genuinely remorseful over leaving him defenseless, but Kasumi soon noticed some sort of acceptance in his gaze. Or perhaps understanding. A sudden perception on why this stranger appeared one day in Konoha and started befriending him, even though she wasn't the first who wanted a piece of the superpowered shinobi. Plus it did seem pretty weird that the polite woman he'd come to know over time abruptly seduced him out of the blue...but he wasn't giving the peculiarity much thought when Kasumi exposed herself to him and common sense flew out the window.

It was an outcome Jiraiya warned him about, and likewise lectured on in the upper years of the academy due to the vices of alcohol and pleasure being the quickest way to incapacitate someone or get a knife in the back. Hero or not the blond's strange self-confidence issues never believed he'd ever be a target of _that_.

And yet here he was.

The color red framing a damp pale face was the last thing Naruto saw before everything went dark.

* * *

**I know, it's a bit different from anything I've written so far. But even the strongest person in the world can be taken down if you find a weakness or personality trait to exploit. Did Naruto get beaten entirely too quickly though? Yes. But he's a jinchuriki and there are still ways to disrupt such power.**

**Anyways...essentially, Naruto is kidnapped by the Mugen Tenshin and taken to DOATEC, where he is used in place of Hayate for their experiments because having one half of the team who defeated Kaguya is much better than one of the strongest 'normal' ninja in Japan. I'd probably have to link some back story in there somewhere to explain how a conglomerate outside the Elemental Nations knows about such a person too. Since Hayate is never taken, well, I guess he'd just be crippled now. Kasumi ran away to avenge him before he was kidnapped but hey, differences start to add up and change everything.**

**Would the blond also wind up in Germany with amnesia like Hayate eventually did in the actual story?...probably, because Hitomi is my complete favorite besides Ayane.**

**On a last note, how many of you did I fool with the intro? Did you think it was Hinata and Hanabi I was alluding to?**

**NOPE**

**Oh, the more I thought about it Kasumi and Ayane fit in just as good. A bit of wordplay and bam, they fit in nicely. But if you weren't tricked and remembered this was a crossover with Dead or Alive...I'll get you next time.**


	4. Resident Evil

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these.

* * *

Naruto/ Resident Evil

* * *

Eyes shaded by the darkness watched in unbridled interest as the soldiers ordered to respond as her backup were swiftly and efficiently destroyed. _Literally_ destroyed. The highly trained warriors, having undergone years of intense training for a singular militaristic purpose, were being decimated by a mere _boy_ who was so ungodly fast that even a hailstorm of bullets was no match for his speed. He was already moving out of the way microseconds after the trigger on the automatic weapons were pulled, perhaps even sooner. It was truly awe inspiring.

As a consummate secret agent Ada Wong knew a pro when she encountered it.

He was a kid. That much was understandable without any legitimate confirmation. Not too young though…she'd only turned twenty a few months ago and if anything the boy had to be a couple years off from that. The glimpses she could catch of his actual figure showed off a scalp full of unmanageable blond spikes like he'd recently rolled out of bed, and garish orange clothing similar to what only big game hunters would wear to avoid accidental death in the field. Other than that the male was much too quick for Ada to completely analyze.

Another of The Organization's men fell with a kunai of all things embedded deeply in his chest, the simple knife piercing through the ballistic armoring like it was paper. Another was knocked clear across the lot from a single punch; he didn't get up again after shattering the wall. The young woman noticed one fact that set the blond apart from herself though…Ada was meticulous when it came to witnesses. She was a professional and made sure there were no unnecessary snags, specifically those who might cause problems later on. This guy though, despite the ferocity in putting the soldiers down hard, was at least holding back some so they didn't die outright.

Commendable. But foolish.

Ada barely stifled an uncharacteristic gasp of surprise when the object of interest vanished from view, only to reappear in midair above one of the soldiers with a small sphere of…_something_…gathered within his hand. The poor man barely had time to realize what was happening before the orb was thrust into his back (disintegrating the plating) and the entirety of his body was forced to the ground with enough strength that the pavement simply could not handle the sudden change and explosively cratered. When the dust cleared only one was left standing, and he was currently brushing off the debris marring his Halloween-colored jacket. No one else moved and only a couple others were breathing without major difficulty.

He muttered something unintelligible in Japanese before turning towards the perfect hiding spot Ada had claimed and pointed in her general direction.

"Come out or you're next." he ordered, folding his arms across his chest and standing tall in the face of the unknown. Seconds ticked by as the warrior quietly waited before at long last there was a rustle of clothing and the shadows of the parking garage shifted about. From behind the corner a toned leg stepped into view wrapped in a white heel, only for the feminine shoe to click loudly in the unnerving silence when it connected with the floor. The limb was attached to a slim body wreathed in a pearl cocktail dress that somehow showed both seduction and modesty at the same time. A slit went up the left side to allow for greater mobility and constantly exposed her leg whenever she moved; knee-length, sleeveless, and backless, it drew attention towards her slim physique and modest chest. As she drew closer the man could make out light brown eyes set within a soft, pale-skinned face that exuded her beauty as well as the straight raven hair fell down to her slim shoulders, bouncing softly with every step. She was quite striking…but her looks did nothing to deter the fact she was able to walk so easily onto the post-battlefield scene without any hint of fear or revulsion.

Stopping a few steps away from the rough-looking person, Ada regarded him with a slight smile. Up close she could finally make out the rest of his features: striking blue eyes, tannish skin, odd markings upon his cheeks, a black headband with a metal plate that matched the two-tone jacket, black sandals, thigh holster (not for a gun though), and orange pants. As she had guessed he appeared only a few years younger than herself but his skill level was so darn high it clearly offset the age limit. Interesting. Cocking her hip out she followed the blond's lead and folded her arms, tilting her head to the side in interest.

"Well aren't you fascinating?" she mused delicately in the same eastern language, "That was quite the show. I've never seen moves like those before."

"Are you with them?" the male asked bluntly, flipping a thumb over his shoulder towards the remains of said people. Even with such a raspy voice exposing his impatience the yellow-head was clearly calm and unworried. Ada could respect such professionalism. It didn't mean she had to play nice though.

"And if I am?" Her graceful Chinese features crinkled when he suddenly raised one of his arms, his finger looped through the trigger guard of a soldier's discarded pistol while the gun twirled around lazily.

"Listen lady, I'm being paid to protect the guy having the fancy party. Unless I get a real answer from you I'm just gonna have to knock your ass out and let the others decide what to do next."

"And what set a boy so young on the path of mercenary work?"

The blond sighed before flicking the weapon over his shoulder and starting forward. "I don't have time for this," he complained as Ada unfolded her arms and let them fall loosely at her sides. His first error was mistaking the lone woman as just a lost partygoer, albeit an oddly desensitized one. It's not as though anyone out here could give him actual trouble no matter how hard they tried. Reaching out to start steering her away, his palm had only just encircled her thin bicep in a strong but gentle hold when Ada leapt into action. Her upper body swiftly pitched forward at the exact moment her leg folded up behind her, nailing the boy sharply in the face with her foot and momentarily staggering him. Using the momentum the sharply dressed partygoer grabbed his hand and wrenched the thumb to free herself while simultaneously flipping over his body and twisting the arm still in her grasp. With such a limber body it wasn't too difficult to switch their positions and tuck his limb painfully into his spine.

"It's not polite to be so rough with a member of the fairer sex. Didn't your parents ever teach you to treat us with respect?"

"…orphan since I was born," her new hostage spit out as he was forced to take a knee lest his shoulder and elbow be ripped out of their sockets. Ah, Ada mused to herself. That possibly answered all the questions he didn't deign to reply to. Young soldiers of fortune were spawned all the time in this war-torn era. As someone who traveled the world taking varied jobs for rich cliental she had seen it happen far too often. Her brown-tinted eyes turned a tad bit gentler at his declaration, no longer twisting his arm to the breaking point but still laying on the pressure so the stray didn't get any ideas on escaping. Not that a dislocated joint would hinder him for long.

With another small tilt of her head, Ms. Wong dipped her chin and replied with a small inflection of kindness. "I'm sorry to hear that." Especially because _his_ job directly interfered with hers. But even the small fry of the profession needed recognition once in awhile and the female was at least willing to give him that...so long as it didn't mess with her own income. Maybe she could pass on his info to someone in need of a strong fighter. "What's your name?"

The sharp edge of a knife tapping the flawless skin of her throat was the only answer. Orbs widening in silent shock, the girl of Asian descent didn't dare whirl around with the dangerous weapon close enough to easily draw blood from her vulnerable neck. Who was it? How did they sneak up on her in the unnatural hush of the garage? From the corner of her eye a glint of a black sleeve was discovered even as the possible assassin leaned across her back to slowly untangle her hands from the mercenary's. Warm breath tickled at her temple as she was forced to release her prisoner and separate; more and more her meticulous planning was spiraling out of control.

Ada Wong was known to keep a straight face even in the direst or dangerous situations…but when someone with literally the exact same voice as the blond whispered in her ear she nearly jumped out of her high heels. The blade and years of self-control kept her in place though. No chances were to be taken unless the ravenette was certain she could free herself.

The one who was now free wiggled his arm around with an annoyed frown as he stared at the trapped woman. "My name? It's Uzumaki Naruto. And that was not a smart idea."

"Can't blame a girl for trying." Ada reflexively swallowed, the knife biting into her smooth flesh ever so slightly as the muscle contractions caused the two to meet. Subtly she palmed a minuscule detonator only consisting of a single button even as she maintained eye contact with the freshly revealed Naruto. His sight hadn't strayed from her face, giving the attractive spy the moment she needed. "Well, it's been quite a pleasure to make your acquaintance however I must really be going."

His look of questioning was the only tell she needed to skillfully draw a thin dagger from somewhere underneath her dress and knock the weapon kissing her throat away. The woman's thumb brushed the switch and the concrete/metal support parking garage shook under the detonation of twin microbombs exploding as one. Her objective was the death of Igurashi Kota, younger brother of the president of Umbrella Corporation's Japanese branch and any of the other employees caught in the blast was just a bonus. Since Kota had decided Ada was sexy enough for his own personal attention it had been a simple matter to slip the thumbnail-sized explosives under the lapels of his suit coat before making an excuse about the restroom and hightailing it out of there. The additional Organization employees (currently spread about the room) were meant to cover her escape during the ensuing confusion and mop up any remnants they came across.

No one could have foreseen someone on the opposing side's payroll singlehandedly taking out a squadron of experienced soldiers like they were children.

Naruto's eyes widened in shock before Ada back-flipped away from the chunk of ceiling that fell between them. The pair stared each other down in silence for a few seconds, the female's eyebrows raised as if she was curious what he would do next. The blond sucked his teeth in annoyance before he suddenly turned and ran. At least, Ada believed that's what he did. His posture and such reminded her of a person starting to sprint but the fact he literally vanished again made it difficult to ascertain.

She herself was already moving the moment he did, not wanting to give the mysterious opponent any extra chances at stopping her...not that it wouldn't be hard for him. There was something unnatural about the boy. Inhuman. Considering no one could move nor do the things she witnessed the Uzumaki do...it had to be. Perhaps some sort of pharmaceutical concoction that enhanced him far beyond human boundaries?

Umbrella had many secrets hidden behind the shield of their legally friendly conglomerate. It was why she currently worked for a rival organization, tasked with discovering their secrets and generally causing them headaches.

Thankfully it seemed Naruto was more interested in checking on his boss (who was most likely a bloody smear, unless he'd removed his coat before the explosion. But even then the chance was slim Kota survived) than chasing a strange partygoer. Ada counted herself lucky as she joined the rest of the fleeing guests, and didn't relax until she was well away from the site of the event. If the assassin had been left to face off against the blond...she didn't want to admit it, but she was outclassed. Her entire plan had been foiled the moment the man started slapping her 'comrades' around like leaves. Ada never left a job unfinished, but this was the first time she'd been forced to leave before making sure the target was truly eliminated.

Uzumaki Naruto, huh?

Interesting.

* * *

**I'd typed part of this out awhile ago, way back when I rented RE6 for the PS3 and wished it was more like 5. Man I love RE5. My friend and I once rented it simultaneously when it first came out and blew through it to get the rocket launcher. Then I picked up the gold edition awhile ago and did nearly everything with that one too.**

**Looking through my USB with half-written documents, I found this hidden in there and finished it up to the best of my memory.**

**I forgot what my premises were, other than the fact eventually Naruto would partner up with Ada at one point, possibly hooking up with her once in awhile because why not? By RE2 though he and Claire become close...and I honestly can't remember what else I had in store for it. This preview is sometime before Resident Evil 1 though, which is why I made Ada look a little different.**

**This is just another plot bunny like the others in this collection. It begins something in the universe, like a basic little template. If anyone's interested in hijacking the idea and making a real story out of it, let me know.**


	5. Ikkitousen

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these.

* * *

Naruto / Ikkitousen

* * *

In a nice little house, in the countryside of Japan, a pair of adults sighed simultaneously and continued to drink their tea. The first was a beautiful woman with dark brown-purple hair which feathered out near her neck, violet eyes and glasses, a voluptuous figure wrapped within a light blue kimono, and lipstick. She sat primly upon the wooden porch outside the door and calmly sipped her beverage despite the sounds of a scuffle emanating from within the house. Her name was Sonsaku Goei and she was the owner of said place.

The seconds was a mountain of a man, dressed like he was straight out of a kabuki theater. He was tall and broad, with long spiky white hair in a ponytail falling to his legs, bits of armor like the horned headband he wore, wooden sandals, and strange red tear marks stretched down his cheeks. Unlike his lovely companion, his posture was far more slouched with one leg propped up on his other knee, holding the small glass with just a finger and thumb. His name was Jiraiya, and he couldn't quite decide on whether to be amused or annoyed by the consistence yelling making its way out of the traditional Asian building.

"How much longer should I give them before breaking it up?" Goei asked out of the blue, feeling the warmth of her tea heating her body despite the airy spring weather. Jiraiya quirked a brow and his lip twitched upward before the shinobi quickly sucked down the dregs of his drink and handed the cup over. Slipping off the porch he brushed off his pants and hefted the strap of his luggage before he turned to face his host.

"It'll work itself out. If I know my apprentice I'd say about five...four..." He silently counted down the last few numbers with his fingers before pointing towards the sliding door. Right on cue it burst open as a blur of orange and yellow dashed outside, jumping straight over the large male despite his height before revealing it was a young boy. He was dressed in orange pants and an orange jacket with blue, white, and red accessories. A blue headband with a metal plate, spiky yellow hair, whisker marks on his cheeks, and bright blue eyes rounded out Uzumaki Naruto's whole appearance.

On his back clinging to him like a monkey, arms and legs wrapped securely around the jinchuriki's small stature, was another young person. A girl at that. Her hair was orangey-blonde, hanging just past her slim shoulders in two puffy pigtails with a pair of two unruly strands defying gravity, and bright green eyes. She wore a simple white karate gi but its state was currently ruffled and dirty, the same as the outfit of the one she clung to so desperately. It was Goei's daughter Hakufu, and the poor girl looked as though she'd been sobbing for the past few hours thanks to the trail of snot and tears _still _streaming down her face.

"Get off!"

"No! You said we'd play more!"

Naruto, despite his clear attempt at shaking, looked as though it was taking more willpower to deny the younger girl her wish instead of giving in. "I-I can't stay any longer!"

"Yes you can! There's so much more we can do!"

Something suddenly grabbed the back of Hakufu's top and lifted her into the air, bringing a pause to her crying. Yet as Jiraiya grabbed her the orangette simply tried to press further between Naruto's shoulder blades. So in essence the toad sage lifted both pre-teens up with ease, which dragged a small laugh out from Goei hidden behind her kimono sleeve. "Oh Hakufu, you already know they were only here to visit for awhile," she chided her daughter. The girl turned her teary gaze towards her mother, and simple squeezed harder (if that was even possible anymore).

The short jinchuriki gasped at the pressure. Hakufu was rather strong for such a petite gal. "But mooo~om!"

"It's okay Hakufu-chan," Naruto managed to gasp out once Jiraiya finally managed to wiggle an arm in between the two and pull them apart slowly. The blond had to stretch and make sure nothing important had slipped because of his friend's desperate hug, "I'll be back one day. I don't know when but I'll have to see how strong you are by then."

Because for the month Jiraiya and Naruto stayed with the Sonsakus, it had been nonstop on all parts. Naruto was fourteen going on fifteen by this time and the Sannin was taking him to all kinds of places, but with not too much of an emphasis on actual training despite it being a _training trip_. Then one day Jiraiya decided for them to head out here. Somehow...Goei was one of the old pervert's contacts outside the Elemental Nations and the genin wondered just what made Jiraiya choose her as one.

Was it some sort of ability to gather information on things quickly and efficiently?

Maybe, but Naruto would bet it all on the woman being buxom, curvy, and rather seductive behind a mask of demure and ladylike conduct. She always shot the man down though whenever he hit on her, which wasn't actually surprising, and more often than not the purplenette would watch actually the blond with a faraway look and impish grin, before she'd start giggling to herself.

It was creepy.

At least Hakufu was a lively one. She'd only recently just turned thirteen and yet seemed to have the mindset of a kid. She could show insight when she wanted to but other than that...she was dumb. Literally. A steel trap, her mind was not. And perhaps she knew that, because if the D word or any variant of it came up she would get rather defensive. Naruto couldn't count the times the twosome devolved into an insult match over who could call the other stupid the most. And she was a bottomless pit, and not much on the modesty issue. Either she didn't actually care or literally did not realize walking around exposed was a bad thing. Thankfully it was starting to stick (maybe) that nudity around strangers was not something for her to do.

Especially since, for a young woman only starting puberty, it was evident her growing curves would one day match her mother's.

But that was the bad...and it really wasn't so bad.

Hakufu was incredibly friendly, and loyal, and liked to have fun. Apparently there weren't many kids around the area, and even less her age, so the intrusion of a scruffy loudmouthed blond whose personality was similar to her own made her incredibly happy. The girl barely ever saw her cousin Koukin and it was never for very long so she took every advantage of having a playmate as best as she could. This either devolved into games she never got to partake in at a younger age like tag, or basketball, or playing house...

Naruto didn't like that one. He was a man! He needed to get stronger!

But a happy Hakufu was contagious, and tea parties and pretending to be married like all the other girls got to do was a small price to pay. It was all rounded out by actual proper training. Goei could take care of herself in a scuffle if need be, and her child inherited the same sort of ability. The smaller Sonsaku was still in-training but had quite the form for martial arts. Whenever she wasn't eating or sleeping, dragging Naruto off for a game or being disciplined by her parent because of something she did, Hakufu would want to fight.

Even for someone who could take down a biju-fied Gaara, his newest friend presented a challenge. She could take a hit and give one in turn, and keep on going. It was surprise too see that in someone without chakra. Naruto probably learned more here gaining experience against the slender Japanese girl than from any of the disjointed tips the elder shinobi gave him since they first left Konoha.

Apparently that was _actually_ Jiraiya's aim for coming here. Damn his deviousness.

But all the time they could spare was at an end, and Naruto didn't really want to go either. He liked it here, he liked the company...but there was more at stake than the two Sonsakus knew.

"You better promise!" Hakufu ordered before rubbing her face against her sleeve and simultaneously leaving a trail of mucus along the thick white cloth.

"I promise! Really! Like I'd ever forget about you!" Naruto added quickly, rubbing her head fondly and forcing himself not to fall into the waves of sadness bursting off the girl. It was like when he left Wave and Inari started blubbering, and that set him off even though they both denied that they wanted to cry.

"Do make sure you come back and see us one day Naruto-kun," Goei announced as she rose to her feet. Like the doting mother she was, the mature female moved towards the children and leaned down to pull them both into a hug. With her back currently to Jiraiya (which he didn't mind. Even in the outfit she wore it was quite flattering to her form) she made sure to place her lips near the jinchuriki's ear, "I especially _cannot_ wait to see what a fine man you grow into."

With a wink that both confused him and made Naruto feel funny in a way he didn't ever want his teacher to know about, he eventually extricated himself from the adult's grip and pulled back. Goei stood there with her arms resting on Hakufu's shoulders to make sure the girl didn't try anything again, the two watched as their guests finally took their leave. The orangette waved until the ninja had vanished off the path leading away from her home, and it suddenly felt like there was a small weight settled in her chest. She was back to being alone, and the thought caused her sadness to grow yet again.

"I wish Na-chan didn't have to leave..." she said with a massive pout. Her mother sighed but lightly ran her fingers through Hakufu's straight locks, before gently steering her back towards the porch.

"He's a very bold young man. If Naruto-kun says he'll be back one day, then he will return. No matter how long it takes he will make good on his word. Don't forget he's expecting something from you as well Hakufu."

The teen grew strangely silent as her mind processed what the Uzumaki had asked of her only minutes ago, before it suddenly clicked and she raised a clenched fist. "Right! I'll become the strongest person ever and show him how powerful I've become by then! Then Na-chan will have to stick around with me and we'll play all day, and spar, and eat, and- and...well, other stuff! I'll think of it then!"

Goei sighed but felt a smile worm its way across her pretty face. Had her daughter been a bit more intelligent, Goei would have been worried over any other things her daughter wanted to do with a boy. But Hakufu was a special girl. Anything like that wouldn't be coming for years. BUT, just to be on the safe side, it probably wouldn't hurt to give the small Sonsaku 'The Talk'. She was starting to blossom after all, and Jiraiya's comments and Naruto's furtive glances when he thought no one was looking were likely indicators that she better prepare her kid as best as she could.

The world was a very cruel place, and when Hakufu inevitably left home to follow the destiny of her magatama...bah. She would do her best to try and spare the child from such a fate. But if not...

No one would take advantage of her daughter if Goei could help it. It all depended upon whether or not Hakufu would retain the knowledge though. Oh well. Hopefully it wouldn't be too long before Naruto returned and, knowing his nature, became the green-eyed female's protector from those who would harm her in such a way.

That...and Hakufu wasn't the only one who was believed to have potential as they matured. Goei licked her lips and couldn't wait for bedtime. Dreams and imagination would have to tide her over until then.

* * *

Four years. Four years since he was last in Japan, and so much _shit_ happened since then it was mind-boggling. The Akatsuki, the war, the biju...Madara, Obito, and Kaguya...the Juubi...Neji...Sasuke...

At nineteen years old, Uzumaki Naruto had lived a whole lifetime in under two decades. He was a hero. A savior. With untold power and a humbled personality tempered by the experiences that forced him to grow and mature out of the person he was only a scant few years ago. Oh sure, he was still loud and not very smart, but that was just Naruto being Naruto.

He was a leader and a beacon of hope. And now he was in Japan to see the world outside his homeland. There was something about this country that kept nagging at him, and he knew it was incredibly important. But so much happened 2-3 years ago and the subsequent recovery and rebuilding had taken priority over everything. He'd saved the world, helped the tailed beasts, and finally brought Sasuke back to Sakura...so what else was there for him to do besides become Hokage? Especially outside the Elemental Nations?

Readjusting the strap of his traveling scroll with his bandaged arm, the blond sage and chakra reincarnation of Ashura looked around before running a hand through his shorn hair. It was the shortest he'd ever had it but it was just a minor part of his change in appearance. Naruto now wore a black jacket with orange zipper and red band around the right bicep with the sleeves pinned back, and a stretchy headband in place of the former long strands. He'd even gained a little height! All that remained of his former look was the sandals, pants, and pouches.

Naruto liked it. It made him look more mature than ever before.

The article of clothing that seemed the most out of place simply due to the warm weather was the long red scarf wrapped around his neck. He'd been getting some odd looks ever since he entered the city and one person even asked if he was somehow cold, but nothing dissuaded him from removing the object. The ninja had only gotten it recently but it was one of the most important items he now owned, save for Iruka-sensei's hitai-ate plate and Jiraiya's copy of his first novel.

His mother Kushina knitted it for him sometime before he was born...and luck beyond luck, it had survived even the destruction of the original Konoha.

Minato had placed it in the Hokage's special safe back when he was in charge, seeing as it was the most secure place in the entirety of Hi no Kuni. Kakashi had dug it out one day when he became too curious for his own good and started looking through the vault instead of doing paperwork. The former copy nin remembered flashes of it from his own youth, surprised by its unexpected reemergence, and promptly gave it to the one it was meant for.

The jinchuriki now barely took it off if he could help it.

Not even when a bunch of thugs with earrings jumped him as he walked down the street. Literally no effort was used to take them all down, and he went promptly on his way.

Naruto stopped suddenly as the darker emotions completely soaking this incredibly large town in the Kanto region spiked heavily. It was the reason he stopped here of all places, and it made him curious how one singular place could possess such a disgusting amount of negativity. Too curious for his own good, the powerful blue-eyed boy decided to go check it out. He suddenly vanished in a blur, startling the person who'd been stalking him for the last mile.

He did it on purpose though to give them a scare. Seriously, they might've been good at being sneaky but he was a master.

A few moments passed before someone stepped out from behind the corner of an alley and looked around in impressed confusion. It was a young woman around the shinobi's age, wearing a crimson blazer and short plaid school skirt of various reds, loafers, and white baggy socks. Her body was toned and firmly muscled showing she worked herself on a constant basis. The jacket was left open save for the last few buttons, exposing a large amount of tanned skin and cleavage from her ample bust.

Green eyes looked around for any sign of the male, before the girl sighed and set her hands on her hips. A shake of her head sent Housen Ryofu's light green pigtails bouncing but she kept smiling despite the circumstances. "Well that was interesting," she claimed aloud, still in awe of what she just witnessed, "It was only by chance I saw the beat down he gave those guys and yet he had no magatama in sight. Either it's hidden or the newbie's not a toushi...but either way Toutaku will want to know."

While Ryofu hated the man, and her boss at Rakuyo was quite aware of her ire, she had to continue playing the part of the loyal subordinate. That was her _fate_ after all. The sexualized fighter began her trek back to the school, too lost in thought to notice she too had been spied upon. Another buxom woman with long silver hair and closed eyes continued to lean up against the wall she'd taken refuge behind and waited long after Housen had vanished. An old hand at keeping her presence hidden herself, Shiryuu Chou'un wouldn't take any chances with the girl rumored to be the strongest female fighter within all the schools. Especially if she could avoid a fight for now.

The toushi did not believe there was nothing too important about the blond other than the fact he emitted quite a powerful aura, like an over-strengthened beacon, but if someone like Ryofu found interest in the lad then she needed to as well. Kan'u would want to know about any possible threats against Seito and by proxy Gentoku Ryuubi.

Giving herself another minute, Chou'un lifted the katana she carried around and held it loosely at her side. With nary a look back she turned the other way and started her own journey back to Seito Private Academy and her friends.

By this time tomorrow, the biggest players in the reincarnated Romance of the Three Kingdoms would know about this mysterious newcomer. Little did they know his destiny was his own, and that belief would bring much pain and hardship to the entirety of the magatama's holders.

Fate would not allow that though, and the struggle between two titanic forces would rock Kanto to its core.

* * *

Naruto watched through the window as the woman with cropped blue haircut and an eyepatch attempted to break the arm of her long-haired opponent while both laid upon the floor of a school. Unwilling to let that happen, particularly because Ms. Bluebell was releasing so much unrestrained bloodlust (and regular lust...what the hell?), the blond jumped straight through one of the windows of the school and jabbed her right in the armpit. The shock of taking a hit at such a joint caused her to shudder out of surprise, loosening her grip from the fuzzy feeling now permeating the area and allowing the second female to break the hold and scramble away. The broken glass was spread out along the floor but thankfully away from the combatants.

"Who the fuck are you?!" she hissed angrily, singular blue eye locked onto his own and beautiful face twisted into a snarl. Naruto simply held out an arm to keep the one he was trying to protect from moving past him, since he appeared quite ready to do so and was even starting to complain about it, and remained calm in the advent of an attack.

"Just a guy who's wondering what the hell's your problem."

"My job as an executor doesn't involve you!" the girl yelled before clenching her jaw and taking a step back. The pressure of her negativity swiftly dried up and her entire demeanor shifted from psycho-dangerous to a wary interest in the blink of an eye. "Whatever. I'll finish this later," she then claimed in a far calmer tone before simply turning and walking away. The Uzumaki got one last over-the-shoulder glare for the trouble.

He stuck out his tongue and mentally called her a bitch.

"Ooo why'd you do that?! We were in the middle of a fight! I can't believe you messed it up!"

"Excuse me? She was about to rip your shoulder out its socket!" Naruto said loudly as he turned around in annoyance, getting an eyeful of his 'grateful' damsel. Orangish hair falling down her back, green eyes scrunched up from annoyance, and a buxom figure exposing her pale underwear due to the fact whatever uniform she was wearing had been ripped to shreds and she didn't bother to cover up. But he was able to ignore her protruding chest for the most part and instead focus on her mounting indignation.

"I had it covered! Now what am I supposed to do, stupid?!"

"Stupid?! You're the stupid one! If I hadn't come along you'd have a lot more to worry about than not finishing a fight!"

"I'm not stupid, you're stupid!"

"_You're_ stupid!"

"Stuuuuupid!"

"You're stupid and an idiot!"

"The first one to say stupid is the stupid one, so there!"

"Well it makes perfect sense then since you said stupid first!"

The two were in each other's faces in spite of the situation, screaming and participating in a battle of wills and stubbornness than neither would ever back down from. This probably would have gone on for far longer if not for the fact both people realized this whole thing seemed somewhat familiar. There was only one other person who Naruto had ever devolved into such an argument with before, and the girl standing there in only shredded fabric for an outfit was also reminded of how there had been another who ever went tit for tat with her on the derogatory subject.

Naruto blinked and took a closer look at her features. The woman did the same, searching the memories of her ditzy mind in an effort to remember why this all suddenly seemed familiar. Then it all clicked and two sets of eyes widened in realization in the exact same moment.

"Na-chan?!"

"Hakufu?"

Two heartbeats passed and the pair continued staring before the orangette gasped and broke into an enormous smile that threatened to split her face. With a cry of happiness she tackled the ninja to the floor and began to squeeze him like she had done four years ago in the front yard of her childhood home, although this time they were face to face...and she was _far_ more developed than how Hakufu was as a pre-teen.

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe it! You remembered the promise!"

And that's when it hit Naruto as she burrowed her face into the crook of his neck and continued rubbing up against him: she was the reason he felt the need to come back to Japan. How could he have ever forgotten? I mean, he knew it was something important...but a promise was a promise and he'd nearly lost track of it completely.

Sure he was busy with life and death circumstances spanning since before he was born...but that wasn't an excuse.

She was still talking despite her mouth pressed up against his muffler, and Naruto started to chuckle. Both from the faint sensation and the relief at how their second meeting had happened again. It was unexpected but totally welcome. His friend had grown a lot, as did he, and there was four years of catching up to do. And then there was Goei; it was a given the two would meet again and, oh right, she made him rather nervous. Welp, better to just get it over with now that her daughter was aware he was back.

Wrapping his arms around her as well, the jinchuriki of the Nine-tails and proxy container of the other eight biju returned the hug. "I missed you too Hakufu-chan. I said I'd come back and see how strong you became, right?"

And then she started to squeeze harder again, and she was shaking a little bit, and his collar was starting to become wet from- oh god, not again.

The pressure increased. He would need to wash his coat and scarf to be rid of all the snot. The pressure increased again. Good thing he was so sturdy. The pressure increased one more time.

By the time Hakufu's cousin Koukin crawled into the hallway where the two other teens were lying, bloody and injured from his own brawl in Nanyo Academy's courtyard, he found his family member on top of and inadvertently strangling the life out of an unknown blond who shakily reached out a hand for help. Naruto might have been one of the strongest people in the entire world, but even superheroes could be taken down with the most unorthodox methods.

In this case, an emotion girl with one hell of a grip.

* * *

**So I've been wanting to do something with Ikkitousen for a long time. I mean, just look at the girls. But I always had trouble figuring the series out. Between the manga and anime things get pretty different, and I can never find the manga anywhere to read properly, and it's always been a hassle trying to watch the anime for some reason. Several times I've nearly ordered it off Amazon but there are so many different ones and I just want the damn complete series for all four seasons (is that too much to ask?) instead of a few episodes on one disk.**

**The wikis aren't very good either. Compared to most others I mean, and that's always where I get info for stories. At most I know a few things about the main characters but...idk. I like keeping in character as best as I can.**

**Annnyways, look at it this way. Toushi and characters in Battle Vixens are predestined to follow the same sort of circumstances that surround the souls in their magatama. They can fight it as much as they want but inevitably the same fate will happen in some way.**

**Naruto spits at fate and follows his own rules.**

**Now imagine Naruto from Naruto the Last, fully powered and able to literally blow up the world without much effort, unable to do something like go over and kill Toutaku because he's not destined to end Toutaku's life. Any attempts either fail or proceed as planned but he still remains alive no matter what. And all because of FATE dictating it.**

**How pissed would he be, crippled by a belief that never bothered him before? Something he ignored and spoke negatively about. It would fuck up his entire view on predestined events and possibly make him rethink about whether or not all the things that happened in his life could have ever been changed, or no matter what his choice was not a choice at all.**

**Then he'd get angry. Something like that would push Naruto's buttons until he found a way to defy even destiny and break the chains keeping the toushi stuck on their paths.**

**I think it would be an interesting thing.**


	6. Mortal Kombat

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these.

* * *

Naruto/ Mortal Kombat

* * *

His armies were ready. From the grimy stone balcony, a large man in sparse bone armor reminiscent of the samurai stood tall with his arms held behind his back. Far below him in the darkened courtyard, platoons of loyal warriors stood at the ready, their grim and ugly visages barely illuminated by the flickering torches spaced along the edges of the wide area. Each and every one of them only had eyes for their leader: Shao Kahn, emperor of Outworld and dozens of others which had been conquered and fused together through ancient magics. The merged realms, all simply now a part of Outworld, were in a constant state of turmoil due to the way the landscape would suddenly shift from one type of terrain into another the more you traveled, as well as all the different species now forced to live together.

But that did not matter to the man. He was the emperor. Their leader. The strongest to ever exist. He did what he wanted, and he wanted to rule all the realms he possibly could. No...to rule every single solitary world, brought under his glorious reign. But there was one which arose such a fury in his heart. Earthrealm..._Earthrealm_!—had yet to fall to his might no matter how many times he tried. Damn that Raiden and the Elder Gods, and their accursed rules!

His sniveling lackey Shang Tsung had revealed out of fear he knew of a fresh world, seemingly untainted by any gods or deities whose gaze was far too reaching. Such information had stayed Shao Kahn's hand during his most recent bloody rampage and kept him from ripping the sorcerer into pieces for one too many failures. How intriguing. A minor realm, so insignificant it didn't even have a proper labeling nor any proper records of it anywhere in Outworld.

Shao Kahn then properly tortured the man for keeping such information from him. How did he find out? Where? As the great and powerful emperor, Shao Kahn never smiled. He smirked, and grinned viciously, but never smiled.

After consistently losing to Earthrealm of all places, it would be such a treat to finally drag another dimension kicking and screaming as it was absorbed into the greater whole. Though, that would not come until much later. The rules of Mortal Kombat could be bent so long as you were careful. An offensive on this mysterious realm just to attack and enslave _without_ the purpose of subsuming it would allow the attack to go unhindered, and leave them weak and vulnerable for later kombat. But that would only work since there were no accursed sentinels like Raiden keeping tabs on Outworld.

Still...to find a whole other world in some aging scroll left out forgotten in an Edenian temple, talking about rabbit women and creatures with far too many tails, did not count as indomitable proof. But Tsung had cast his spells and claimed to have seen farmlands through the temporary portal the magic created. Farmers and peddlers, just regular humanoids without horns or scales or extra limbs.

Cannon fodder. Or new slaves. Too many within his palace had been lost as of late, because of his own carelessness over their fragility. And occasionally, some of his subordinates required certain types of nourishment that could be gathered right then and there. However, it seems they all had been indulging themselves a bit too much as of late.

That should change though so long as things went as planned.

The warriors amassed just outside Shao Kahn's temple could barely contain their excitement over being unleashed upon the unwary and weak. Each were deadly in their own right; half-breed monstrosities snarling and waiting for a chance to spill unwary blood. They were the Tarkata, a vicious and brutal race of mixed Earthrealm and Outworld descent. The males were bald and terribly ugly, with bald heads, pointed ears, wide fanged mouths, and forearms riddled with spikes. The women, few as they were here in the invasion force, possessed hair and more feminine figures, though they too kept the grotesque faces and thorny arms.

Shao Kahn raised a fist and his followers roared. A large portal tinged with colorful energy and sporadic bolts of lightning appeared at the far end of the courtyard, and almost immediately the Tarkatans began swarming through like water pushing through a tube.

As the emperor continued to stand tall and watch his army depart, he was joined by a small group of those he deemed both valuable and skilled. The first was his chief warlock Shang Tsung, a man with Eastern Earthrealm features along with black hair pulled back into a ponytail, a short beard, dark eyes, and opulent clothing. As of now he was a striking and well-fit individual but only because Shao Kahn willed it so Tsung's second chance would not be tainted by his formerly aged and decrepit body. It was...a gift, so to speak, as the sorcerer had been very forthcoming with his ideas on his lord's victory.

Bend the rules. Declare a final Mortal Kombat here in Outworld, winner take all. If won, the other world would finally be absorbed. If not, they gave up on it forever. Then bend the rules even further and invade this second realm without merging until it was easy pickings and secretly give Shao Kahn more strength for the road ahead.

Obviously the man had been keeping things to himself beforehand...but being seconds away from death usually loosened anyone's tongue.

At Shang Tsung's side was the walking humanoid lizardman, simply called Reptile by his comrades, and someone who followed Shao Kahn without pause. He was the last of his kind (ironically due to Kahn's own decisions) yet the scaled, ninja-garbed creature had been indoctrinated for far too long now and was much too worried about the fate of his own species to be searching for any sort of revenge.

And if he did? Then the remaining Saurian would perish like the rest of his kin.

The last two were female. Abnormally beautiful women at that, with flawless flesh and perfect hourglass bodies clearly designed for seduction. All Edenians were long-lived and undeniably attractive, male or female, and both Kitana and Jade were no different. The former was pale-skinned with flowing black hair held back by a tiara-like hairband, and a cerulean color scheme trimmed with silver. Her outfit was incredibly revealing, with a laced halter top exposing most of her large chest, a long loincloth, veil over her lower face, thighhigh heeled boots, and jewelry. Jade was innately similar in appearance save for her darker skin and the way her black hair was pulled into a long, low ponytail. Her colors were dark emerald with black and gold highlights.

The four stood at their warlord's back and beheld the sight of the empting courtyard. "It will not be long before their power is added to yours," Shang Tsung began, "An entire new dimension to draw strength from. Earthrealm will no longer be able to stand against Outworld's might!"

Kahn folded his arms across his broad chest as he turned around, slit orange eyes glaring out from underneath the skull mask attached to his spiked helmet. "The Elder Gods are not as omniscient as they believe to themselves to be. Where are they now as I wage war against a world of peasants? Where is this other realm's guardian, to bore me with a lecture as Raiden does on an almost daily basis?" He raised a hand and sickly green energy coalesced around his clenched fist. "You have proven yourself once again, Shang Tsung, in spite of your recent failures."

"I only live to serve," the sorcerer said with a bow. Unseen by the others, Jade placed a hand on her cocked a hip and rolled her dark green eyes. Tsung was a backstabbing sycophant and literally everyone knew it. But since it was so easy to tell, no one would be surprised when he inevitably made some pathetic grab for more power.

Kitana took a step forward and Kahn's eyes alighted on the figure of his stepdaughter, not that she truly understood their connection. "When shall we join the Tarkata, Father?"

"_You_ will be staying here. The last Mortal Kombat has shown that I need to take a more active approach in matters of the other realms. Therefore, my newest subjects will see firsthand the might of their emperor. I will give Baraka and his warriors time to enjoy themselves before I too go and subjugate what remains."

It took five minutes. Five full minutes of waiting for the sharp-toothed troops to worm their way out from the portal's exit and do what they do best: battle. Shao Kahn expected to wait longer though for the first status report to come back, and was indeed preparing to return to his throne room, when one of the half-breeds unexpectedly dragged himself back through Outworld's gateway to the surprise of those still present. Tarkatan warriors were known for their unwillingness to back down from anything except those that proved themselves as alpha material and it was far too early for anyone to return. To have one come back now...

Either the world was already somehow under their thumb, or there was a problem.

"Why have you returned?!" Shao Kahn boomed, leaning down at the clearly injured monster with his hands clenching the railing. By the darker spikes on his arms and more elite-patterned uniform, the man was his Tarkatan elite Baraka. And he was bleeding. A lot. With half his body _not _sliced up looking smoking and charred from intense flame. He had been injured before and faced plenty of deadly situations where new scars were added to his already impressive display, but never to this extreme. It was only thanks to his natural fortitude, willpower, and inherent magical ability that Baraka was still alive. For how much longer without treatment though, still remained to be seen.

Beady orange eyes beginning to cloud over looked upward towards the overhang, stretched mouth still eternally smiling due to its structure in spite of the obvious pain, and he attempted to speak as the world continued to fade. Shao Kahn jerked his head and Reptile immediately leapt over the edge and rushed forward, placing his elongated snout near the broken teeth of Baraka's face and occasionally nodded before turning on his heel as death finally overtook the wounded fighter and he dropped to the dirt. The loss of the efficient and brutal boss of the Tarkata was a pity but there would be another to take his place. The lizardman climbed his way back up before slipping onto the railway and removed the stiff veil that covered his jaw. Reptile's voice was low and guttural with a bit of difficulty talking properly. That did not stop him though from relaying Baraka's final message.

"There is resistance. Killed many, but others fought back. Very strong. Tarkatans dead."

"_Dead_? How much of our army could have possibly fallen?" Kitana demanded out of shock. Reptile's neck snapped around in a gesture of uncertainty.

"Most. All. Few taken. Captured and taken away."

Shao Kahn growled dangerously and the Outworld metal clenched in his hands twisted and snapped like a twig. The portal below was pulsating again, as if someone new were coming through, and the warlord's temper was steadily rising. Jumping over the edge he decided how Shang Tsung would suffer for once again failing as an advisor. The man would be tortured for days, siphoned of his essence until he was nothing but an aged shell once again before having his skin flayed in chunks, limbs ripped off one by one, and soul ultimately consumed just as he was about to expire.

There would be no more leniency. Shang Tsung must have realized this as his lord jumped to the ground, as he attempted to slowly inch away while everyone's attention was elsewhere. Sadly, however, Kitana retrieved her razor sharp fans and flicked them in front of his face, setting the closest spine barely a centimeter from his eye. Meanwhile small globs of acid were steadily dripping from underneath Reptile's mask and Jade's pole weapon had extended to its full size. Yeah, he wasn't going anywhere until Shao Kahn returned.

The moment the hulking man slammed into the ground and crushed it beneath his feet, legs bending to absorb the fall, his fingers curled around a large war hammer that popped into existence in a rush of green energy. Rising to his full height Shao Kahn continued to scowl as someone new emerged through the portal and locked eyes with Kahn. It was a true show of just how ignorant this person was, that he would dare act so challengingly towards his soon-to-be emperor. But even if the Outworld native was not so pissed, he still would have not cut the newcomer any slack.

Might was right. Compassion was weakness.

The other man looked young, in a black jacket with buttoned sleeves, orange pants, red scarf, a black band with a metal plate across his forehead, and orange pants. The warlord cared little for the person's appearance but he did notice the bandages wrapped around his right arm. An injury perhaps? Or likely a weakness to exploit.

"You dare resist against your new emperor?! I will flay you alive and crush your skull beneath-!"

Shao Kahn never got the chance to make good on his threat. In a shocking display of speed, the boy was in front of him with a hand firmly grasping his forearm with a surprising amount of strength that the bulkier man could not break free from. Then the warlord was airborne; Kahn released a guttural yell as he was launched skyward, the earth growing more and more distant at a rapid pace. Where had that whelp's power come from? Not even he himself could throw someone so impossibly high!

Far below, his opponent was aglow with bright golds and dark blacks as a sphere of shadowy-purple miasma appeared in his hands before his whole form was swallowed by that of a translucent shining fox head. The last thing Shao Kahn saw was the small construct far below him open its mouth...before he knew nothing else.

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto watched as the powerful blast of energy exploded with incredible force high in the atmosphere, effectively erasing the other male from existence with no possible hopes of recovery. Even without sage mode and his negative emotion sensing warning him outright, the ninja could tell there was absolutely nothing good about the large person with orange eyes.

People had died that day. None he knew, thankfully, but those freaks with the sword arms had appeared and started razing villages outside Konoha to the ground before the threat was discovered by the ninja.

But once it had, Kakashi showed why he was a viable choice for taking the hat of the Hokage.

Each and every Tarkatan was taken down with extreme prejudice. There was no leniency given to these...monsters, who came from a portal with the clear intent to destroy everything they could. Naruto had worked overtime in sensing where each of the invaders were, so as not to overlook any, and the wave of shinobi had spread out like wildfire. Ino and her clan were the messengers with Naruto being the source. It was effective. Brutally so. Some were even captured to interrogate before disposal.

And in a rather short amount of time, the fighting was over. These Tarkata monstrosities were strong but at most, they needed to get in close to cause damage. A fair portion could even use their freaky arm swords to create a wave of sparks and sound. But they could not stand up to ninja and their control over the elements.

All that remained was the sparking dimensional gap. The big boss had to on the other side. The Uzumaki was able to convince his peers to allow him, the most powerful in attendance, to go through first. His friends and comrades were right at the edge of the portal for his clone to tell them whether or not he needed assistance.

He didn't.

This other man was a walking pit of disgusting emotions. All he wanted was to destroy, and kill, and subjugate, and watch the world (or worlds) burn...so long as he was the one standing at the top. If allowed to roam free...well, Naruto had faced enough vicious megalomaniacs in his own world.

The jinchuriki was nearly twenty years old by now. They had a tentative peace in the homeland. While it was an odd thought, realizing he was now standing in another realm, the fight against Kaguya had shown that there was more than just the Elemental Nations out there. And he would not allow any bastards out there to come in and fuck everything up again.

A bijudama (**Tailed-beast Ball**) was more than enough to get the point across. That...whatever his name was, would not be making any other power grabs anymore. However, the fight was not over.

Powering down, he made a few quick jumps that had Naruto away from the portal, across the vast courtyard, up the castle wall, and onto a ledge. There he balanced upon a non-broken section of railing and stared with harsh blue eyes at a sniveling man, stunned lizard-man thing, and two admittedly gorgeous women. All were frozen stiff at the sight of this young man before them. What could they _possibly_ do? The blond had literally just disintegrated the most powerful warrior in Outworld with barely any effort and now his sights were on them.

If they moved, made a sound, or even breathed, they were sure they would be dead before even realizing it. Hardened combatants, all of them...but not even Shao Kahn had ever paralyzed them in such a way with just his presence alone.

The first one to eventually break free of their terror and move as Naruto hopped forward onto even ground was Shang Tsung. The others were no longer guarding him, as it was...but fleeing was still out of the question. However he needed to do..._something_ to try and save his pathetic life.

The whiskered blond had taken one step before the dark-haired male with the goatee and flamboyant clothes dropped to a knee with his head bowed. It was a confusing reaction and Naruto was not the only one there who felt it.

"All hail the new emperor, defeater of Shao Kahn and ruler of Outworld by right of conquest!"

...

...

Ah, wait. It probably just got worse.

* * *

**Essentially, this takes place in the retconned past of MK9 just after the first tournament ends in Earthrealm's victory. I really liked 9 despite its obvious technical problems on occasion, and when X came out I was pretty darn excited. This crossover is where that excitement went.**

**Naruto becomes the emperor through accident and from there turns Outworld on its head. It was going to be more comedic but apparently I can't really write comedy bits. They have to be visual or audible to get the point across. Oh well. I'll work on it.**

**Now I know it's been awhile since I posted...anything, but like all others and one point or another, my real life became my focus. Graduating (hooray) and then taking a bit of a break, while **_**finally**_** coming up with a proper storyline for my actual novel. Getting the manuscript format correct feels actually more difficult than the writing, but I do believe I've got that down. Lots of rules to follow if you want publishers to not veto the idea outright, and you can't be as free-going with sentence structure and all that, like here on fanfiction.**

**Anywho, I **_**have**_** been working on Mages and Lesser Son. There's not too much yet but I've been chipping away at them. So while that's going on, I thought I'd post some more ideas.**

**Here ya go.**


	7. To Love-Ru

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these.

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Naruto/ To Love-Ru

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In The Village Hidden in the Leaves settled somewhere in the Elemental Nation's Land of Fire, two opposing forces of catastrophic power stared each other down. The efforts to recover from the last great war were still ongoing, even over a year since Kaguya's defeat, and none of the countries had recovered most of their assets yet in spite of the ongoing ceasefire. Their efforts were aimed towards rebuilding both the lands and its people to their former glories.

The battlefield where the brunt of the fighting took place would never fully recovery. Or at least not during anyone's lifetime anytime soon.

The ninja of the Hidden Leaf village had proved themselves the strongest during the entire ordeal, their powers were incredible and two of them far surpassed anyone else in this world, so it was no surprise that the invaders sole stop was dead center of Konoha. There was no warning to mark their arrival. One minute the skies were clear, and the next massive oblong constructs loomed high in the atmosphere.

A single alien beamed down to the top of the Hokage monument and demanded the presence of their strongest warriors. His voice boomed out across the entire city, deep and powerful, before waiting for those he called out for. A full force of shinobi had surrounded him by this time though none but one dared to step forward. Hatake Kakashi, the _proper _Sixth Hokage, stared down at the diminutive trespasser with his ever present book in hand, lazy stare, and facemask. Twin dark eyes were slightly amused at this...child and his demands, but the power radiating of his diminutive form was deafening. When asked about his true purpose there he reiterated himself with a tone of disgust.

The alien was dressed in clothes trimmed in fur, with fang earrings like Orochimaru's, sharp features and teeth, and spiky black hair. He also had a tail. It was thin and black, ending in a dangerous-looking trident. Kakashi was glad that without his headband, his hair fell about his face. It masked the beads of sweat steadily making their way down his temples. The kid steadily ignored him though; the former copy-nin wasn't sure whether to be thankful or annoyed.

The only movement he ever did was occasionally look around, as if following something no one else could see...up until two of Kakashi's students finally emerged.

And now it was Naruto, Sasuke, and the mysterious boy in a silent standoff after the others moved off to a safe distance. The Uzumaki, in a surprising state of mind, had yet to open his mouth and demand to know what the hell was going on. The Uchiha's Sharingan spun slowly in its socket while his Rinnegan gleamed with awareness. Both were tense. And the child continued to wait, a smirk on his lips, before he finally took the first move and sat down with his legs crossed and chin resting in a palm.

"Took you both long enough to show up," he eventually said. Even spoken so casually it sent Naruto bristling in a way that made Sasuke reach out and jerk him back by the shoulder. The Yin heir of Indra was always the most level-headed between the two of them anyways.

"Who are you and what do you want?"

"You know...normally I would take offense if one of my subjects talked to me in such a manner. You're lucky we're all outside my empire's jurisdiction though."

"Shut up, you runt! Who the hell do you think you are?! How'd you even get here?! And what is _that_ thing?!" Naruto knew the tailed person was bad news. He might not have been exuding much negativity but even without sage mode activated, the amount of energy in his tiny body was staggering. The blond's bandaged arm zeroed in on the spaceship and the action made the other start grinning.

"I'm so glad you both asked. I'm Gid Lucione Deviluke, Emperor of the Milky Way Galaxy. I came from space, and that is my vessel. Now, as for what I want..."

Gid hopped to his feet and brushed off his pants. Beady eyes looked up at the two teens and clenched a fist. It was the only forewarning before a vortex of energy exploded off the Deviluke's form, heavily cratering the ground while rising high into the clouds. Sasuke was forced to bring up Susano'o while his teammate drew upon his Six Path's Sage Mode to act as buffers from the unnaturally heavy pressure. The others weren't so lucky, blown away by Gid's release as the entire mountain began crumbling away like sand. The pair of ninja had to use their own abilities to shield the rest of the village from harm; their own chakra flowing out and spreading like a shield to match as best as they could.

"CUT IT OUT!" Naruto screamed as Kurama's three-headed tailed beast configuration wrapped around his body, already forming the massive Rasenshurikens he last used against his rival at the Valley of the End. But this time it would not be clashing with Indra's Arrow. _That_ technique was forming in the hands of the equally large chakra construct at his side. Naruto and Sasuke shared a sparing look that conveyed far more than a simple glance should. Their attacks would not be unleashed without extensive destruction and death. It was nothing but a bluff. Another show of power. Gid didn't know that though and that's what they were banking on.

Yet as soon as the pillar of energy appeared, it vanished. Gid but a stopper on his strength and sat back down in the vast hole he created upon the monument, smirking all the while even though his opponents still towered over him with their attacks ready to go. "Oi! Get your asses down here! It was just to make a point!"

Seconds passed as the purplish humanoid and multi-limbed fox hovered above before ultimately fading away though the two remained in their ascended forms. Copies of the glowing blond boy dashed off towards the village and outlying area in the search for survivors and such. The original was glaring death, holding two rods in hand as black as shadow. The symbol in the dark-haired one's red eye was different too. He took a step forward and threw his cloak over his shoulders, giving himself a better range of motion while opening his mouth to speak. "You have five seconds to say your piece before we cut you down."

"Yeah...not gonna happen. If those were your strongest moves, it won't be enough," Gid proclaimed before his impish features became a lot less childish, "But it's as I expected. You're both strong. Incredibly strong, and that's what cannot stand. By the feel of it, you're both two halves of the same whole. Together your power is godlike. And as I see it, a threat to my kingdom even way out here in a sector of space barely charted by the researchers. I should kill you both and destroy your planet to be done with it but..." They tensed again but the child merely sighed through his nose.

"That would not be very diplomatic, as I continue to tell my husband," a second voice interjected. The sound was innocently melodic and the one it came from actually caused the faintest of color to rise even in the frigid Uchiha's cheeks. It was a woman, tall and curvy, with long wavy pink hair and a white shoulder-less dress that molded to her voluptuous form. A silk veil covered her face, hanging from a circlet around her forehead. She dropped from the sky in a slow descent with a small frown on her beautiful face. She hit the ground evenly but it sent certain parts of her body bouncing, a sight that made the shortest of those present to stare happily.

"They're a backwater world outside any jurisdiction. Who cares what I do?"

Sasuke had to use his Sharingan to check for genjutsu. There was some sort of muted 'pull' of attraction coming from her aura despite him not finding even a hint of an illusion at work. Naruto, the idiot that he was, was blushing at the sight of her but continued to stand strong. She placed a hand against her hidden cheek and continued to frown while staring at the residents of this world, a slight mark of confusion bleeding through before she gave a slight hum. "Do not be so harsh. Though it seems they are somehow still slightly affected by my ability..."

"Another reason to get rid of them then."

"No!" she exclaimed before giving a quick once over of the destroyed monument. "I truly apologize for my husband's rudeness. There aren't many who can rein him in. I understand I should not be asking anything of you after his absurd display but, is there any way to bring forth some chairs? I do believe after Gid's stunt we lost any remaining possibility of entering the inner city and I would rather sit than stand for the ensuing conversation."

Well at least she was pleasant. Her voice was incredibly striking too, but then again it made sense for someone of her good looks to have a tone to match. Naruto bit his lip before creating an extra clone which immediately sought out Kakashi. Sasuke in turn slapped his hands together and focused on manipulating a newfound ability now shared by the Uchiha and Uzumaki. Two stumps of wood grew out of the rock, one for the woman and another for Sasuke. Gid was left in the dirt as an insult...and Naruto could make his own damn chair.

"Thank you," she said with a smile as the blond glared in his partner's direction and powered down before making his own seat. He too ignored the child, "And once again I feel I must apologize. My name if Sephie Michaela Deviluke, Queen of the Deviluke Empire and the one who inevitably ends up fixing the damage caused by my husband."

"You, you keep saying that. But he's just a kid!"

"In appearance only, and he was not always that way. But that is not the reason behind our visit." Smoothing out her robe, Sephie clasped her hands together and sat demurely upon the rough stump. "Your ability to manipulate plant life is interesting...ah, but I'm off topic already. We've already gotten off on the wrong foot-"

"You came here, called out our strongest, and destroyed our village monument for no reason. If not for the fact my two cute students would cause senseless casualties, I'd like for you both to remember you're _very _lucky right now." Kakashi claimed as she strolled out from the far tree line, looking disheveled but still carrying his smut. He was the leader after all and any interactions between another (supposed) leader meant his presence was required. "Oh, and by the way, we've disabled all the people you had hiding in our forest. I take it they're with you since all of them have pointy tails."

"Yes," Gid sneered, "And you better hope none of my soldiers were harmed by your actions."

"Well that depends on whether or not any of ours were hurt by **your** actions."

"Alright, everyone shut up! I can't take it anymore!" Naruto snapped and jumped to his feet, uncaring that Kakashi commandeered his now empty stool with practiced ease, "We want answers! No more stalling!"

"Of course. That is only fair after all...but to make a long story about our visit much shorter...our galaxy was experiencing a period of massive unrest and bloody civil war without an end in sight. But there was a resistance, lead by my husband, which ultimately brought a plethora of planets under Devilukean control. Though blood was shed for many years, in the end it brought about a much needed peacetime. Gid stopped all the endless fighting and the Milky Way galaxy has only grown stronger from what it once was."

"So?" the blond jinchuriki asked bluntly.

"Hush, Naruto. Sephie-san wouldn't explain unless it was important."

"Indeed," she said with a diminutive and unseen smile towards Kakashi, "Because in the end Gid was forced to release a momentous amount of his own power, far more than anyone else has ever seen before or possessed. It was the catalyst that brought all the violence to an end, and what reduced him to his current state. Do not be fooled; even weakened he is still the strongest in the universe."

This time it was Sasuke who interrupted, voice dripping with indifference. "Like Naruto said: so what? What does that have to do with us? Everything _your husband_ has said so far points to our planet not being a part of your territory. So what if the idiot and I are powerful? ...I'll admit it's a bit of an eye-opener to have the idea of aliens finally be confirmed by your arrival, but I see no point to your...visit."

Naruto's eyes were closed and his teeth were clenched together, his mind working in overtime at Sasuke's explanation. "Er, wait. Hold on. Aliens? You don't really believe that do you?"

"...oh my god," Indra's chakra-holder claimed with a sigh, slapping his forehead while Kakashi did his own eye smile gesture. Gid seemed to share the black-haired boy's enthusiasm and Sephie was giggling lightly behind her hand in a lady-like gesture. "Naruto. What do you think Kaguya is?"

"...a bitch?"

"Well, yes, but do you not- no, it's useless. Of course you wouldn't remember the _whole_ myth of the Rabbit Goddess."

"I would too!"

"Oototsuki Kaguya was reported to have originally come from the moon before her first lifetime here on earth a millennia ago." He removed the small turban from his head, allowing his now longer hair to breathe better and stop his bangs from hanging in front of his Rinnegan. "If aliens are real, it only makes sense there was truth in her legend. Plus...I suppose since we're related to her we'd be considered aliens too," he muttered to himself.

"Oototsuki?" Gid perked up at that, rubbing is small chin with an equally small hand, "Haven't heard that name in a long time. I've had to kill a few of their kind before. Annoying little bastards. Can survive in the vacuum of space."

"Wait what?! We're aliens too?!"

"Stop shouting! You're so damn annoying!" Sasuke yelled right back, annoyed that he had been heard, "The Uchiha and Senju are descended from her, remember? And so are the Uzumaki! It's how we gained Indra and Ashura's chakra! So that means...?"

Everyone stared at the blond, whose face twitched. He couldn't think of a way to refute his rival but the very idea they were extraterrestrials, things out of stories, still seemed so far-fetched. Even with honest specimens sitting across from them. So in the end he folded his arms and looked away, features scrunched up in annoyance. Sephie cleared her throat daintily during the lull in conversation, seeing it as a way to get everything back on track.

"Well, that is a surprise. However, we have gone far off topic-"

A small figure leapt into the center between both parties and the pinkette felt her frustration rising. It was an odd concept, when she was always usually a calm and collected individual. Galactic peacekeeping essentially demanded that of her...but her hotheaded spouse was actually starting to push her buttons for once as he stood in the middle with his hands on his hips.

"This new bit of information falls exactly into why we've come here! The insignificant Oototsuki were still a thorn in my side whenever they showed up, and finding two of their kind with an inkling of power here on a planet outside my rule...it would take a million years for either of you to reach my level, but there can be not even a possibility of a coup against the Deviluke Empire and the peace we've maintained. As the king I issue this ultimatum regarding the future: one of you dies, or one of you leaves and becomes my subject, never to return to this world. _Or_ I can just destroy everything like I originally wanted to. Your choice."

As expected there was resistance. But Gid would not budge. He even fired some sort of energy blast into the sky that was far wider and lasted longer than any Bijudama ever made, just to prove he wasn't talking shit about killing everyone. Alone they were strong but Naruto and Sasuke together could accomplish anything. The tail end of the ninja war and all its expended energy signals were picked up by Devilukean scanners even through the vastness of space. It didn't worry the emperor but he didn't want to waste more effort and power putting down some sort of new confrontation that could actually annoy him in the future.

Gid's original plan was to simply nuke the entire planet and go about his travels. But Sephie and her inclination towards avoiding more unnecessary bloodshed cowed him into at least giving another destiny to those who might one day challenge him. They could have something to add to the kingdom. But even with all her influence towards his decisions, he was still the king and therefore the end result was on his shoulders.

"I'm bored of this now. You have one day to reach your decision. I don't care either way. We'll be back tomorrow. Come, Sephie." And then the child was gone, teleporting away after giving his final gruff demand. The woman's lips were pressed together in a line behind her covering but eventually gave them all a bow which gave a clear look down her cleavage before she too disappeared.

She did not agree but...it was much better than the woman could hope for in such a short meeting. He was her king too, and therefore Sephie would have to defer to his decision.

In the shattered remains of what was once the top of a memorial dedicated to Konoha's string of bosses, the three remaining shinobi were left behind in the tense atmosphere. None of them spoke, although Naruto looked as though he was ready to explode. With a slight snap the silver-haired Rokudaime closed his novel and tucked it away for later.

"Well...it appears we have a bit of a problem."

Neither of the two teenagers responded and Kakashi scratched his scalp. The first major crisis he had on his hands as Konohagakure no Sato's ninja commander and it meant the entire fate of the world, or the future of one of his beloved students.

Son of a bitch.

* * *

In the end, Naruto did his noble act of being a stupid boy, and volunteered himself for leaving his home behind. He wouldn't let anyone die on his watch, which inevitably meant someone had to go away to maintain Gid's idiotic declaration. Sasuke was actually in a relationship...or whatever was currently going on between him and Sakura whenever he returned from his wanderings. The blue-eyed jinchuriki had no one. Ah, that wasn't fair to say. He had everyone...but nothing like those two had at this point in time.

He'd just spent three years working to bring the misguided Uchiha back to his friend and former crush. No way in hell that was going to be ruined now.

The fact he was a jinchuriki was a deciding factor as well. Though the stigma against biju was being reevaluated for their help and prior treatment, taking one of them away with _all_ its energy back created an avenue for proper peace. All nine were necessary to form the Juubi (and reawaken Kaguya). With all of the Kyuubi's chakra vacating the planet (unless certain dead people were pulled from the Pure Land again), those two apocalyptic monsters were essentially sleeping for good and none could follow in the Akatsuki's footsteps.

Naruto received many hugs and well wishes as Gid and Sephie waited just outside the gates the very next day. The longest and most desperate came from Tsunade, Sakura, and Hinata. The buxom blonde knew she had to let go though even though Kakashi's statewide announcement barely made any sense, and did so with much unwillingness. It was Naruto being Naruto again...not that it was a good thing. Sakura was of a similar mind, though she had to be dragged away by the others. What about his dream? His life here? Why did everything have to be so unfair, after all the blond fought for and believed in?

And then there was Hinata...Naruto now knew she felt something for him. It was a surprise that the thickheaded boy finally remembered, but it was there. The trauma after the battle with Pein effectively wiped most of the fight from his mind after nearly losing control to Kurama...but her actions during the war helped dredge up and reinforce her stance on the jinchuriki. She wanted to stay at his side forever but now that was being ripped away as well. The invaders would not let anyone else travel with the Uzumaki so her immediate declaration of joining him was shot down.

They shared their first and only kiss that day, something Hinata was still far too timid to do despite all her recent maturity. However it was the urgency of the issue which forced her hand. The Hyuuga couldn't take it anymore though as their lips eventually parted and she ran away sobbing. The ANBU and Kakashi kept him from rushing after her, as well as keeping the distant crowd of the blond's fans from mobbing the teen and copying Hinata's actions. Naruto had actually gained a bevy of admirers for becoming a 'hero' and saving the world.

Such a far cry from his youth.

As he was eventually escorted away in a daze, Gid was grinning perversely about the kiss. "Was it good? She was a looker. Too bad, eh?"

Naruto felt something snap inside and it was Sasuke's Susano'o arm that kept the glowing jinchuriki from ripping into the alien. Gid was already brimming with power and there were screams and fleeing civilians, but the sage only had eyes for the little bastard in front of him. "Don't fall for it," the last Uchiha ordered, "he wants you to do something stupid to give him a reason to attack."

Breathing heavily, the fresh rage in Naruto's heart was like an open wound. But he restrained himself, allowing sighs of relief as the three superpowers brought themselves under control. Shaking off his friend, the Uzumaki stomped passed everyone with a few parting words. "Just keep him away from me. He's not the only one who's looking for a reason," he spat out through clenched teeth.

Gid threw a cheeky wave to those who remained while Sephie bowed again with a melancholic air about her. All three of them disappeared and the large battleship far above rumbled and lifted away. It hung there for a moment before the massive engines attached to the hull burned and the vehicle ripped its way out of the atmosphere to parts unknown.

It was also the last time any of them ever saw Uzumaki Naruto again.

* * *

For two days Naruto ignored everyone and everything, sequestered in the room he was given aboard the spaceship and staring out the window at rapidly passing stars and planets. The only one who ever bothered to visit was his new queen, surrounded by guards as she brought him a fresh change of clothes and his meals. The food remained untouched upon her return, which she dutifully took away with only an unseen frown. The beautiful pinkette continued to do so though in the hopes he would eventually eat _something_ despite the clear sign he had yet to move from his spot.

But on the third day as she entered his space and placed the tray upon the night desk, she was surprised to see a set of blue-eyes underlined with darkened rings from a lack of sleep staring at her for once instead of out the view port. Her inherent Charmian allure thankfully no longer seemed to tease him anymore, as if the lad had grown used to her ability and could now ignore it. She guessed this because his eyes were on her but there was no hint of excitement or longing.

"What was the point of all this?" he asked quietly, proving above all that he was still young and prone to emotion compared to the image of a hardened warrior her husband only saw. Pulling the chair away from the table and turning it towards Naruto's bed she smoothed out her flowing skirt. But for once her posture was that of a mother, not of a diplomat and ruler. There had been no one there at the Uzumaki's departure which claimed to be his parents...a terrible reality for anyone. In this moment, even if it went against every protocol she could think of, the boy needed Sephie the mother of three and not Sephie, his new co-ruler. The question was how to go about it. The two Devilukeans had no sons, and therefore comforting one was a bit foreign.

She opted for the basic truth.

"Do you remember Gid's words during our first conference? How you were a threat?" Naruto nodded slowly. "It wasn't just you and your friend. This was not the first time my husband sought out strong opponents...though you two have been the most powerful by far. We have spent much time and effort destroying all vestiges of the Galactic War and the endless fighting before that. So much pain and suffering, the losses...the only reason there are any actual ceasefires is due to the power Gid Lucione Deviluke and the Deviluke empire possesses, one that no one else can match, and so one that cannot be overthrown through might."

"And it seems I'll have to say it one more time too. _So_ _what_? He said it himself that our world was nowhere near yours so there was no point in coming to us." The guards in black suits standing on either side of the door bristled but the veiled woman smiled lightly behind her mask. "The most I wanted out of life was becoming the leader of my village. Like I actually cared about other planets, something none of us even knew about until you all decided to show up. Good job by the way. If you just left it alone we'd all be perfectly fine."

"Yes. Gid can be quite stubborn. He only did this to put dissolve any potential danger to that peace, even though your race was not even close to discovering spaceflight and spreading out among the stars. To preserve our kingdom he will always do as he pleases." Sephie then sighed quietly. "Thankfully he does listen to me more often than not. I am his main advisor, and the one who travels around for negotiations. This could really have been much worse." Her head rose slightly and Naruto was aware she was staring back at him intently.

"Right. Worse. I can never go home but it could all be _worse_."

"You could be dead. Your planet could be vaporized. I myself am quite happy with how the situation was diffused with so little violence."

The blond sighed and ran a hand through his shorn hair, just one of the appearance changes he and his friends had opted for since the end of the war. "This is all so dumb. Your husband is a paranoid bastard and even though none of us are close to his power, apparently we _might_ be a threat far in the future and he'd rather take care of it now instead of later, just on a hunch we might try to disrupt the peace of a bunch of worlds nowhere near us, going into space with technology we don't even have."

The guards looked ready to run him through with their spears but none moved from their posts. Sephie found herself blinking quickly behind her shroud; that was rather insightful for the young blond. Especially since it looked like he would have an aneurism trying to believe aliens were truly real, and kept asking over and over about the point. Either the boy was an idiot and just needed constant reminders, or was smarter than he looked but didn't tap into it often. Sephie wasn't sure. Maybe he was just so shocked by it all, it wouldn't click until now when he'd had some time to get used to the changes.

"In essence...you are correct. I love Gid with all my heart but he can be difficult. The way he meets challenges is with overwhelming force to ensure it is completely taken care of."

"What would you have done then if you were the one fixing our 'problem'?"

"Me? Ah...that is a good question Naruto. I don't actually know right now. Probably left it alone since, as you said, you were far enough away and had no designs on overthrowing Devilukean rule."

"Just like that? You believe me?"

"Should I not?"

Naruto squinted in her direction before leaning his back against the wall, shaking his head. "You know what? I think you're the only Devil thingy I'm gonna get along with."

"Well then, you should meet my daughters. Oh! You will actually, considering we are returning to our home on Planet Deviluke. Knowing Lala, Momo, and Nana, they will naturally be curious over our newest addition."

"Are they going to ask a lot of questions?"

"Lala will. Momo will be more polite about it, and Nana will act like she won't care," she said with a small laugh before rising to leave. "After all it's not every day we bring an _alien_ from outside the galaxy to live at the royal palace. There aren't many who travel beyond the edge of the Milky Way."

The blond opened his mouth but paused, before rubbing his face. He _would_ be the extraterrestrial now, wouldn't he? From behind his palms he spoke again. "I woke up yesterday hoping to eat ramen and maybe go speak with Iruka-sensei at the academy. This is all too much."

Sephie paused at the opened door, a hand on the frame as she looked over her shoulder. "I too know what it's like to have your entire life flipped around in the span of a few moments. Should you ever require someone to speak to again, I will be willing to listen. However...remember that I am now your queen and proper protocols must be entertained for any future meetings."

Naruto just lazily waved an arm as she and the two guards vacated his room. With a sigh the ninja finally slid off his bunk and stretched out the kinks he gained from his lack of movement. He finally took a good look around the smallish area and marveled at the sheer whiteness of it all. White, or outlined in black, or full black although those were less in supply. The attached bathroom was probably the same way. The set of clothes left untouched at least had some color, although none of it was orange and the back of the shirt had a big swooping black symbol where his Uzumaki swirl would go.

Then he stopped and did a double-take. That was far too much like his clan's mark. Naruto didn't like that at all, and he found himself feeling a bit...defiant. He was to become one of their followers, just like that? Yeah right.

While he now had perfect understanding of chakra, Yin-yang Release was still a bit new to the boy. Creating something out of nothing took a bit of focus to mold the energy...and he'd only ever healed with it before. But touching his hand to the back of the new jacket, Naruto paused a moment before grinning widely for the first time in days. If he had to be a part of their domain, then the jinchuriki would be doing so in his own personal way.

There, on the starch white jacket of his new uniform, now sat the deep red swirl of the Uzumaki as a big F-U right to Gid Lucione Deviluke's stupid face.

* * *

**Who doesn't like To Love-Ru? Besides the people that don't, I suppose.**

**Naruto becomes a vassal to the Deviluke Empire...and eventually escapes to Earth. He won't have a problem with any of the girls, just Gid who, based off what we've seen of him so far, can really be a douche bag. And from there...whatever happens. Haven't really thought too far ahead on it.**


	8. Soul Eater

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these.

* * *

Naruto / Soul Eater

* * *

The blank white mask stared, endless black spheres that constituted its eyes carved into the ossified material and set into a harsh unyielding glare. The cover was molded into the shape of a treacherous skull missing its lower mandible, wreathed in shadow which covered its hidden body like ragged black fabric. Nothing of its true form was visible. Not even with the dangerous-looking gauntlet poking out from the blackness where an arm should have hung; razor sharp edges covering every inch of the hand with its protectiveness.

The Shinigami. Death itself. The Grim Reaper. The Madness of Order. All these names and more. He was quite real...and forever on his unending job.

The wind gently tugged at his cloak, causing the supernatural fabric to slightly wave around. It was _always _windy. And dark. Harsh environments no matter where the reaper traveled, as if Mother Earth herself understood just how dire the situation was between Death and his opponents, the Witches.

Yet humans still flourished.

Their souls strong and resilient.

Not even the attempts at genocide constantly perpetrated by the magic-users broke their wills...though they still highly feared the unwanted visits of those treacherous women.

"When shall we depart?" a deep but cultured voice asked from behind, finally causing the god to turn away from his constant vigil. An abnormally tall and thin humanoid with white 'skin', a birdlike head, black limbs, no visible features, rather ornately adorned, and just as inhuman as Death stood stoically with its handless arms pushed together as if in prayer. The long dress-like bottom completely covered its legs and made it appear as though it were simply hovering over the ground. It also had a small monkey creature hanging off its shoulder, with a similar flesh tone and appearance.

Yet in this menagerie of freaks it wasn't even out of place.

Death looked around at the other waiting around before taking a quick headcount. "We're still waiting on one," he eventually replied. The embodiment of loss' voice was husky and ringing with power, a low growl that befitted the wild warrior and his lack of mercy on those who would upset the balance of the world.

"You know that waiting for _him _means nothing but wasting _our_ time."

"I understand your unease Eibon. But we will need all our combined strength to destroy the Witches perverting your concept of a 'Demon Weapon' in one fell swoop."

"The longer we tarry, the more time and experience they gain to perfect their experiments! It has already been two days, Death! I can only linger for so long while our enemies improve on their pandemic anarchy. They did me a great injustice by tarnishing my Demon Tool and I will see them all burn for it."

Eibon wanted to destroy the Witches' research. He really did. Helping to protect the world from the monsters who desired nothing more than to see it in pieces...well, he owed that to his old friend. Humanity was slowly being overpowered but altering the very essence of a soul to broker an advantage was agreed to be unethical in the long run. But as a scientist, one whose very essence was governed and represented by the uncompromising Madness of Knowledge... Eibon wished to see just what kind of trials his enemies had conducted, catalogued, and struggled with while using his all-knowing book.

His very being followed the laws of understanding. To have said archive taken away was an affront to both himself and the scientific way.

"Next time don't leave your toys out where anyone can get to them!"

Two supernatural heads turned in tandem, looking in the direction of a tall male with long limbs hunched over a rock with their hands hovering up near their mouth. Dressed in a black/red pinstripe blazer over several different colored shirts with a set of rather long black pants and shoes, the man seemed to have an obsession with a certain part of the body. The backs of his hands (the only uncovered skin on his body besides his mouth, pale and looking as though it were stretched too tightly over the bones) were tattooed with three vertical-positioned eyes, the same emblem appearing on the multiple white scarves wrapped about his neck and a large portion of his skull. They were wrapped just so that the same triplet was positioned right at the front of his turban-like covering.

Asura jerked his face in their direction as a demented grin spread across his sickly lips. The Shinigami could only sigh deeply at his apprentice's poor choice in words; the man who symbolized the Madness of Terror was incredibly unpredictable and jittery in everything he did, even to someone like Death. Showing his maturity compared to the nervous apprentice Eibon simply clicked his absent tongue before silently commanding his strange familiar off of his shoulder. It quickly ran off with nary a sound as the emaciated figure of Fear began giggling uncertainly from behind his twitching hands.

Death growled lowly as his comrade merely slid over to the edge of the cliff they stood on and watched the creature scurry off to scout the distant building where the Witches had locked themselves away. The rest of the group, named the Eight Powerful Warriors by their leader, stood by in varying degrees of awareness waiting for the moment their strength was needed. The united Madness of Power, of Rage, of Joy, and of Nihilism. All that was missing was...

"He's heeeeeeeeere," Asura announced eerily before the seven other beings felt the sudden upsurge of a foreign Madness descend upon them while rapidly growing in strength. As the personification of their own insanity, the octet was essentially immune to the Madness of their fellows. Suffering under the consequences of their own supernatural powers day in and day out allowed them to ignore the debilitating effects of their peers.

Pity the poor human who wandered too close to the domineering presences.

At the edge of their souls each one could feel the uplifting wavelength prodding for any weakness. Ironically the influence was beneficial, despite its clear attempts at overpowering their own. It filled the warriors with a sense of strength and the will to never give up. Truly, this form of Madness seemed like a positive authority...but just like every other facet of Madness that existed, any basic and possibly purer intentions could drive a person to the brink of insanity.

People who fought to their dying breath even when the battle was a hopeless lost cause, unwavering in decisions that ultimately got them killed when there was absolutely no reason for it to happen. Unable to think of nothing more than fulfilling their duty. Cursed with visions of accomplishing any and all goals; paralyzed by the hallucinations and noble delusions which couldn't be discerned from fantasy or reality.

At least it was more humane than the violent suicides caused by Asura's Terror.

A figure dropped from the sky like a cannonball, slamming into the ground and forming a crater underfoot which caused Asura to visibly shake on his haunches. The newcomer rose from his own crouch, shaking out his legs after the fall before walking right up to the Grim Reaper's scary face and raising a hand in greeting.

"Yo."

"You're late."

The guy's light smile grew strained before suddenly turning on a heel and shoving his finger towards a man standing with both hands atop a pure white cane and dressed like the quintessential gentleman. Shorter than average for a full grown man, he stood with his spine straight and nose in the air while continuing to stare ahead off the edge of the landmark they all waited upon. Atop his head was light yellow curly hair cut short and defined features; either he overlooked the annoyance aimed in his direction or directly ignored the other man's twitching digit jabbed right at his head.

"Excalibur didn't tell me where the hell we were meeting up! He just said an island! Do you know how many freaking islands there are on this planet!? Thank god you all got here first because I just followed all the Madness gathered at one point!"

"Fool. Your correct response should have been to admit your mistake and reflect upon where you went wrong," Excalibur responded in a clipped tone, just as the simian creature climbed up the cliff face near his feet and hopped over to Eibon. A silent conversation passed between the two, unnoticed as the last member of the Shinigami's party ran a hand through the messy blond hair falling into his eyes and spiking out naturally.

"...don't push me buddy," the last of the Eight Powerful Warriors ground out before looking back at Death. "Let's just get it over with. I know Eibon's probably having a fit underneath that blank face of his."

"Naruto is correct in assuming we should strike at this very moment. There is a blind spot in the Witches' magical field that we can exploit to slip in unnoticed so long as we compress our souls to the utmost limit. They are still far too potent even when concealed, so it will only be a few seconds before we are discovered. But it will be enough to begin the attack from within their own defenses. Now that the Madness of Sacrifice has finally joined us, we can strike with the full force of our strength and obliterate them once and for all."

Uzumaki Naruto, the former jinchuriki of Konoha and chakra-reincarnation of the Rikudo Sennin's younger son, nodded along while readjusting the body-length white cloak covering his figure. "What he said."

"Very well! Gather around and hide your wavelengths as much as you can! Once we're inside, our main objective is finding Eibon's missing blueprints! Everything else must be destroyed for the sake of humanity!" Death ordered sharply. At least until the ex-ninja raised his arm as though he were in class, revealing a baggy orange sleeve.

"What if we find some of their experiments? They might have actually made something interesting by accident looking through all that crazy crap in Eibon's book.

"**No** **exceptions**."

Naruto stared at the abrupt answer of the vicious being of darkness before nodding with a short jerk of his head. With no other interruptions, the eight combatants weakened the intensity of their soul wavelengths as low as they could (which really wasn't that feeble at all) before leaping off the cliff as one to rush directly into the heart of their enemy's laboratory. Following the hovering form of Eibon they quickly and efficiently slipped through the outer barrier of the magic-user's perimeter before all hell broke loose.

As explosions and screams spilled from the facility, another figure watched the destruction from her seat atop a large rocky outcropping. She looked as though she'd just arrived from a party fit for royalty, dressed in a tight black dress which hugged all her generous curves and exposed a large amount of her ample cleavage beneath a sheer fabric. Adornments sprouted from her back, making it seem like she had extra limbs. Her skin was unnaturally pale, with black hair tied up out of her face and violet eyes with web-like symbols.

Arachne Gorgon snapped open the wicked black fan and held it in front of her face, watching as her former workplace literally went up in smoke. This was only a minor setback, at least for now. In a swirl of black magic that took on the shape of a misty arachnid the woman was swept away in a show of magic. While the Warriors were busy this was her only avenue to escape.

From within the ruined facility, the Grim Reaper's head snapped up in surprise before he immediately growled and exploded through the structure's foundation, blue afterburners rocketing him into the open sky. "Naruto, Eibon! Continue cleaning up!"

The visage of death then gave chase without waiting for his fellow companions to answer. There was no denying the sensation of such a wavelength, no matter how much they tried to lower their power and escape in the confusion. And if the reaper wasn't so far gone yet in the bloodlust, he knew _exactly_ who was fleeing...and therefore who had to be accountable for everything here on this island.

Urging the thrusters to go even faster, the one who exuded the order of the world hoped to finally cleanse a major enemy from its borders in one fell swoop.

* * *

**Ah, Soul Eater. You and Katekyo Hitman Reborn are some of my favorite series' ever. Your anime, while following the route of 'vastly different ending' due to being created while the manga was ongoing, was still pretty awesome. And I enjoyed NOT, no matter what others said. The manga did seem to end rather abruptly though...but it at least wrapped up the series.**

**Stein and Marie though...didn't see that major spoiler between them coming at all.**

**This story tries something new. Naruto will not be a meister or weapon. He was not born in the SE world. But due to circumstances as of yet unexplained to you readers, he traveled to and became one of the Shinigami's comrades way back when the reaper was much less civilized. An immortal, possessing one of the eight overpowering Madness wavelengths. He's still ninja Naruto...except he's been around for a really long time now, and not because he wanted to.**


	9. Senran Kagura

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these.

* * *

Naruto/ Senran Kagura

* * *

A young woman wearing a lab coat stared at the large tube filled with bubbling, viscous liquid and slowly licked her lips. Her body was incredibly voluptuous, forcing the black school uniform she with red trim she had underneath to expose her midriff due to her large breasts, and have the skirt ride up high on her thighs. But Haruka of Hebijou Clandestine Girls' Academy saw no reason to get clothing more...suited to her figure. She liked showing off what she had.

Right now though, it was just her and the tube, and the tube wouldn't be checking her out anytime soon.

The senior shinobi student was currently in the school's basement/laboratory area, although she was the only one who really used it. Still, that did not mean she would be lax in keeping her projects protected. All manner of seals and defense mechanisms had been inlaid in and around the room, meant for her eyes only. Not even Suzune-sensei had access. Oh, her teacher was aware for the most part...but plausible deniability, and all that.

With a flick of her wrist Haruka sent her light brown hair (with a big pink floppy bow in front) swaying before it naturally curled back in under her chin. Ever since Suzune had rescued her from that hell the brunette had gained an indomitable sense of curiosity regarding everything and anything that was ninja. The history. The techniques. The skill. And while Haruka was one of the top five most powerful students here at the Academy...she was nowhere close to those that had come long before her.

Shinobi in this day and age were vastly underpowered compared to the way they once were. Or so it was rumored. They were monsters. They were gods. They could do things the ninja of era could only dream about, back in a time when the world was quite different. So different in fact that the continents happened to be in different shapes, if that meant anything at how long ago it was. The techniques she and her fellow kunoichi employed were nothing but cheap facsimiles. But with this...

It was her greatest experiment. The revival of a long deceased shinobi who was heralded to be the strongest in existence.

Ever.

Or so she believed.

Many would say this was utter madness. Let the dead stay dead, don't bring them back to the suffering that was the mortal realm. But being an evil ninja wasn't exactly about niceties, and Haruka was never exactly a morally positive woman to begin with. This was for science and research. She wanted to—no, _needed_ to see if the myths were true. But where to begin? That had been the greatest problem.

Then one day after dead end after dead end, she found a neat little package sitting innocuously on her bedspread. After clearing it of potential dangers, opening it had found Haruka staring at a sealed vial of blood. The accompanied note was written with few words but the dwindling hope in her ample chest exploded with a fierce fervor.

_This is the only remaining evidence of a mortal god _it had said_. He once burned like the sun with the power of life itself and protected the world from those that would destroy it. Use it wisely._

Naturally, Haruka was highly pessimistic despite her mounting excitement. The smallest drop of blood she could spare was set on a glass film and placed under her microscope. What she found astounded her. It was human DNA but...so much more. There was so much power hidden away in those chromosomes; everything pointed towards an abnormally healthy male specimen. There were also oddities floating around that she herself was unable to deduce, producing a powerful energy source she had isolated from the rest. It was like...the chakra her own body barely created, but on steroids. If there was any indication that she held a goldmine in her grasp, it was that.

Haruka the third-year was still not 100% positive but damn it all, her scientific curiosity could not have been higher. She had to know who this belonged to. Had to see it with her own eyes. The buxom kunoichi did not expect anything to truly come of it but there was nothing to stop her. Lesser men had tried greater things.

Creating a clone from an (apparently) ancient blood sample would be difficult, but no one could ever say Haruka was known for rolling over and giving up.

Four months in, she had a breakthrough. Her rare sample was in its last dregs and nearly gone when finally, _finally_, the current pseudo-egg she was working on underwent its first mitosis. And again. An again. Until a tried and true fetus was floating in the large test tube filled with nutrients she used to act as an incubator. Not only that, it was growing at a frightening pace. Two more months after its start, Haruka somehow had a small child, around four years old. He had bright yellow hair and odd markings on his cheeks that reminded her of a cat. Another month later and the boy became an adolescent. Less than a month after that she had a young adult.

The girl was vastly surprised at how quickly her experiment was growing. It seemed like less and less time was needed for it to reach another stage of life. Then one day, she surmised the man was about eighteen or nineteen, around her own age, when he just stopped growing. Haruka had no part in making this blond specimen grow so quickly, and put no effort into doing so, hoping for it to happen normally, no matter how long it took. Her current dream had already been fulfilled by seeing her work come to fruition and therefore wanted to see what else could come of it. But then it just stopped; the brakes had been thrown and the samples suggested he was now aging at a normal pace once again.

With her hand against the glass, Haruka stared at the man tinged with bluish-green light from inside the tank. Another letter had been delivered that day despite her personal room being airtight. _Congratulations. His name is Uzumaki Naruto, former Seventh Hokage of Konohagakure no Sato _it said. She was greatly annoyed that someone had once again broken into her quarters, more annoyed that they were somehow watching her progress, and the most annoyed that they apparently knew intimate facts about the mysterious blond she now had in her possession. Her cameras caught nothing. Whoever this was, they were _good_.

Ah, but...Fire Shadow and Village Hidden in the Leaves. Supposedly in the old days, the world was broken apart into lands named after certain characteristics pertaining to the area. Ninja cities were named after what environment kept them concealed for the most part. And the greatest villages had those who were called Kages, the greatest shinobi of them all that lead the forces in both peace and war.

"Uzumaki Naruto..." Haruka said wistfully, watching his nude form bob in the viscous liquid. That name actually sounded somehow familiar, yet she couldn't place it no matter how long she thought over the matter. There were so many questions she wanted to ask him. Sadly, even with all the progress and broken humanitarian laws, Naruto was lacking complete brain activity. His organs worked as normal but for all intents and purposes he was still dead. She had grown a vegetable, no pun intended.

A knocking at the door broke her from her thoughts, deep clangs of a fist meeting against metal. The perimeter alarms had already warned her that she was about to have company but it was only her teammates. Thick locks unbolted and spun; Haruka was forced to blink as the bright light of the stairway stabbed at her eyes as she opened the door.

"Hello everyone. What's going on?"

"We, we were worried about you Haruka-sama," Mirai said nervously as she stood at the front of the group. Oh, cute little Mirai. Haruka was smitten with the young freshman the first time the petite little ravenette showed up at Hebijou. Although the poor dear had a major inferiority complex over her underdeveloped body and was incredibly hotheaded, she treasured the other elite ninja as ones she could truly call as her first friends. Haruka treated her like a psuedo-daughter in some regards, doting on her the most out of all the top-tier shinobi.

The brunette smiled softly and met with Mira's lone crimson eye; her left was hidden away behind a black eyepatch stenciled with three red tomoe in a circular pattern. "I'm quite alright but thank you for checking up on me."

"You've spent far too much time down here. You've even got bags under your eyes," Homura pointed out with a frown. The leader of the elites despite being a second-year, Homura was a fierce fighter and pretty darn good at administration. Her skin was tanned from countless hours training under the sun, with incredibly long brown hair tied up in a ponytail. Her uniform was like Haruka's, revealing her toned stomach due to the large swell of her breasts. In fact...Mirai was the only one whose shirt and long skirt covered everything and that was because she didn't have much to show off.

"You've not been eating much either," Yomi pointed out worriedly. She had flawless pale skin, a fine figure, and her flowing light yellow hair was held by a greenish hairclip; she stood with her back straight and arms folded together in her lap. Out of all of them, her prim attitude and mannered personality was the most well-bred...in spite of her rough and penniless background. Yomi looked like a princess until the topic of money and the upper class was broached. Then the beautiful young woman lost her cheer and transformed into something much more.

At her side Hikage stood silently, watching the proceedings with slit pupils set within bored amber eyes. In a way the green-haired gal could be considered the most rebellious of the lot. Her hair was choppy and somewhat messy, she wore small amounts of jewelry, and the hints of tattoos on her left breast and hip could be seen due to the way her top cut off just underneath her own bulky chest. Then again the emotionless young woman ran with a gang before finding a home at Hebijou. Obviously certain things from her childhood had stuck around.

Haruka gave another light grin before shaking her head. "I'm fine just...rather busy."

"That's the thing. You've never spent this much time in the lab before. You're either in your room or down here, and that's not counting when the occasional time when we're called off on a mission." Homura folded her arms underneath her bust. "It's beginning to affect the team."

"You didn't build another rape plant did you?" Hikage asked bluntly. The knife-wielder did not understand emotions well do to her upbringing, and did not care to recognize when something was or wasn't appropriate. The others blanched, remembering that horrifying event, and the expression slipped off Haruka's face before she leaned up against the doorway.

"I've already explained that was not my intent. Merely, an organic trap meant to tie up intruders in the blink of an eye."

"It did a lot more than that," the buxom leader snarked. Mirai shuddered and Yomi hid her face in her hands. She could never be a bride now! But even as Haruka had apologized again and again, the others highly believed that the eldest kunoichi's well known sadistic side had been implanted in that horrible invention and she really wasn't apologetic at all.

Hikage just scratched her stomach. "So what are you doing then?"

Haruka's head lifted slightly, as though she was pondering the question. Did it really matter anymore if they found out, now that it was so far along? Hebijou was a school of cutthroats where everyone, though united, was aiming for the top. That's just how it was with evil shinobi. But these five were already the best of the Snake Girls. There was no reason or positives towards selling out their fellows. They would keep Haruka's secret.

So, it was to their great surprise when the bow-wearing senior stepped aside and pulled the edge of her lab coat out of the way. "I suppose there's no use in hiding it any longer, at least from you four." She gestured for them to enter and as she did so, Haruka's eyes grew hooded and her mouth stretched its way into a cruel smirk. "Do be careful though, I believe the plant is still around somewhere and misses you all _so _much."

She laughed over the frightened squeaks and quickly bolted the entrance closed before snapping her fingers to disable the inner traps. The act lifted her spirits a moment before she too plunged back into the darkness that was her laboratory.

* * *

"...who is this?"

Haruka hummed gently as she strolled past the stunned kunoichi and again placed her hand against the glass. It was a perfectly natural reaction, though, to walk into room and find their oldest member keeping a boy of all things locked away. This was an all female academy. The only men around were those who ran or helped fund the school.

They did _not_ have any male members.

But here was one, unabashedly naked at that. Only Haruka and Hikage did not shy away from the free view; Haruka because she was used to the sight and found it to be not a bad view anyways, and Hikage because she didn't give a shit. Homura had averted her eyes with a slight flush on her scowling face, while the last two girls had turned around completely out of embarrassment.

"Everyone, I would like for you to meet...Naruto."

"What the hell kind of name is that?" Homura was livid for some reason but still could not control herself enough to act mature about a penis. They saw each other naked all the time and Haruka happened to have wandering hands when she was bored. Yet throw a male in the mix and their boss fell apart.

How adorable.

"His true one. It's not a shinobi name." Which every single ninja got the moment they joined the path, forsaking their birth name for a greater purpose.

"Why is he here?"

"A-a-and why is he N-NAKED?!"

"Because...he is my greatest work to date. Using blood that should have long faded away by now...I've recreated a ninja...one who once lived long ago during the Era of Gods."

"Those are nothing but myths and you know it," Homura snapped. "You've been wasting time when you should've been preparing against Hanzo Academy."

The good shinobi school was their next target, with a certain powerful scroll hidden away behind its walls. It was the antithesis to the one here at Hebijou, and it was said that whoever had both in their possession would gain immense power. Haruka was all for causing a little anarchy against the fellow school...especially since she'd recently noticed that delightful pink-haired girl starting her first year there at Hanzo. Hibari she was called, and despite training to be a ninja, was far from being a prodigy. The girl was too soft, too kind for this line of work.

Haruka couldn't wait to have Hibari dangling from her marionette strings.

Sadly, Homura had a good point. For all intents and purposes, the Era of Gods had never existed and was nothing more than folktales that ninja told each other. Written records of the time did not exist, or had simply disintegrated into nothingness by now. On occasion geologists and archeologists dug up a piece of technology that seemed far too advanced for the age it supposedly hailed from, and Haruka liked to think it was tried and true proof of such a thing.

How the hell did the shell of a digital camera get hundreds of feet below the earth's crust? Why was there the fossilized remains of _electrical poles_ situated around an oasis deep within the desert, miles and miles from the nearest settlements that did not use electricity?

How do you explain the fucking kanji on the dark side of the moon that essentially spelled out 'mission accomplished' inside a crater when seen through a high-powered telescope? Even today, there was far too many technical issues surrounding getting enough equipment up there to dig up trenches deep enough. By all means, it was not a natural formation.

There were times when Haruka wondered if she was merely cloning some random person with good genes. But too many things didn't add up.

The girl sighed and shook her head in her leader's direction. "You know I would never shirk my duty."

"Then leave the test tube baby and come upstairs. We need to-"

All five of the Hebijou girls stopped and went into high alert at the sound of a low hiss. That was the sound of a snake; given their schooling and training, the group knew damn well a lot about their given mascot. Hikage was the first to notice the rather large beast slithering towards them and somehow drew one of her knives from the folds of her tattered uniform, alerting the others. They looked towards Haruka, considering it was yet another of her tricks, but even the brunette looked perplexed.

She grew alarmed when she realized it was crawling towards the unconscious Naruto at a speed greater than any snake could ever hope to achieve. "Stop it!" she ordered out of sudden desperation, and her comrades leapt into action. Their own weapons appeared in a flash of light but somehow the serpent knew where to be before the girl's could even strike. And when someone did get lucky, the wound didn't slow it in the least. In fact, the snake would multiply after opening its mouth wide and vomiting out more snakes of equal size.

Which in turn vomited more.

And so on. And so on. Until there was a veritable sea of scaly reptiles bearing down on the tank. The elites answered in kind but the huge amount of snakes eventually slammed into the glass with great force like a tidal wave. Despite the reinforcements, the glass cracked and began expelling its strange fluid upon the ground. Haruka jumped forward and tried to seal the hole but the effort was in vain. Spider web cracks extended from the original point of impact before finally the stress became too great and the entire thing caved in.

A large amount of liquid fell upon Haruka seconds before the limp body of Naruto drove the woman to the floor. She laid there, dazed, with her face pressed into the blond's waterlogged chest. She sputtered and pushed him off her as all the snakes vanished as quickly as they appeared. Somebody screamed; Naruto's leg had brushed against Mirai as she rushed to Haruka's aid and even that was too much mental stimulation for the poor fifteen-year-old.

There was another scream, this time from Yomi. She was pointing towards Haruka as the girl wiped her dripping hair out of her eyes, only to belatedly realize it was not her that the blonde girl was worried about. She looked down...only to stiffen. One last snake was hanging from the boy's throat, biting deeply into the skin. It too then dissipated into smoke leaving behind twin pinpricks of bright red along the side of Naruto's neck.

"...I've never seen a snake like that before. Especially one that could replicate itself."

"What was it doing down here?"

"Was it one of yours?" Homura asked, her loud voice a sign that she was tense. But Haruka simply reached out and brushed her thumb along the tiny breaks in his flesh, wiping away the blood that had dripped out before pulling him closer against herself.

It took another few moments before she finally answered in a reserved tone. "No. Why would I attack my own creation with another?"

"On the plus side he's not poisoned. I can tell you that much." And Hikage would know that the best out of all of them. It didn't do much to alleviate the girl's mounting worry.

Luckily there wasn't much time for mourning. Having grown cold from the preservation fluid clinging to her skin and clothes, a sudden flare of warmth mysteriously brought relief and coincided with a massive surge in chakra literally exploding off of Naruto. As she held the blond in her arms Haruka couldn't believe what she was seeing at the amount of energy he was creating. It could literally be seen shooting off his body like blue fire. It was a miracle that she, being the closest, wasn't somehow burned by the potent chakra.

Then as it died...he opened his eyes.

The first thing he did was blink, seemingly not noticing the girl he was partly straddling or the fact his face was pressed into her large bosom. Then his nose crinkled and he shot up, clutching the spot on the side of his neck as he jumped up in pain.

"OW! What the hell?!" he shouted, flailing about. "What bit me?!" Then he stopped, looking at his right arm like a deer caught in headlights. "Why do I have my original arm again?!" Then he stopped again. "AND WHY AM I NAKED?!"

No one said a word as the strange man continued to freak out. But as the comedy act continued to persist, Haruka was watching with rapt attention. She smiled unconsciously when the blond finally noticed he was not alone and shrieked in a rather feminine tone as he tried to cover himself, tripping because the muscles in his legs were weak and his uncut hair had fallen into his eyes. "Who are you people?! What's going on?!" But then Naruto froze so completely he could have been mistaken for a statue. The blue irises he possessed twitched in their sockets and he trembled a bit. When he finally spoke again his voice broke, ringing with the sound of loss and uncertainty. "The last thing I remember before this is dying in my bed. So why do I look so young?"

Homura, who was about to yell something, heard his words and promptly clicked her jaw shut. The others (minus Hikage) seemed to be in the same boat. Yet Haruka only had eyes for the blond who, a few minutes ago, was an apparently soulless husk. Now he was up and about with full cognitive functions, lamenting over something that clearly made no sense.

Screw the snake, screw Hanzo, and screw her priorities and expectations. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity that Haruka could not pass up.

* * *

**Well, I mean, it's Senran Kagura. I've got most of the games and some books. What's there not to like?**

**Now...I guess I have to say that if you've drawn certain conclusions from what I've written here, it's wrong. Just throwing out that there would be a whole bunch of twists. As for the plant, that was just something I remembered seeing in one of the mangas. Can't remember which one. Haruka wasn't very annoyed when she got all tangled up though...**

**So I've been working a bit in landscaping since graduating, but I had to quit and have to go to the doctors to check out some weird stitch in my side I've had for a long while now that acts up when I do too much. Gotta thank student loans for making me manic for money but my body is clearly not ready. **

**In the meantime I've been writing more for my book...or rewriting, since I can't seem to lock down a proper topic. Creating everything anew and hoping it clicks is admittedly more difficult than just preexisting characters and settings. BUT, I'm keeping at it because my dream is to make something so interesting that people want to see it animated like Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Game of Thrones, etc.**

**And hey, then there's the crossovers here on fanfiction. Those would be interesting to read.**


	10. Mortal Kombat X

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these.

* * *

Naruto/ Mortal Kombat X

* * *

She was the best. Born of two amazing humans, one a world-renowned movie star that _actually_ did his own fight scenes and stunts and the other a hardened soldier that was the pinnacle of a femme fatale, so it was not much of a stretch to believe that Cassandra Carlton "Cassie" Cage would not be amazing in her own right. From a young age the blonde girl knew she would want to follow in her mother's footsteps and join the military to protect the world—er, protect Earthrealm since apparently there was a whole bunch of craziness out there most people were unaware of. Then again Cassie's dimension had been brought under siege twenty-two years ago by Shao Kahn's Outworld forces, followed by Netherrealm's entrance a paltry two years after. If the entire world didn't know that they were not alone by now since the encounters were too grand to cover up...human stupidity really had overtaken the masses.

Cassie wasn't stupid though. She was strong. And skilled. With Sonya Blade's beauty and Johnny Cage's cocky attitude, she was truly an amalgamation of two entwined but opposing forces. She was svelte but buxom, with pale yellow hair she liked to crop rather short and rough, and bright blue eyes that could give you _the look _that could explain how great of an idiot you were so expressively it made her dear old dad proud. Girls were jealous and guys, well...it wasn't too hard to figure out what they had on their minds.

But now she didn't have to deal with any of that anymore.

At eighteen years of age the young woman had just finished high school (boring, easy, but the occasional kickass party) and was more than ready to start her military career. Despite her parent's divorce five years back and the passive-aggressive feelings she _still_ felt towards her mother choosing work over family Cassie still wanted to heed the call of the stars and stripes, patrolling the earth and defending America and its comrades from harm. Could she become an artist like her father? Most likely. She had the pedigree, expressive range, and looks...but smiling for the camera just didn't have the same appeal. While the decision wasn't too well received by Johnny, he still respected her wishes. God she loved that man. Fatherhood had mellowed him in certain ways and when she said he was the best parent ever, Cassie honestly wasn't boasting.

Sonya on the other hand...General Blade of Earthrealm's Special Forces was of two minds. She was proud that her daughter wanted to serve, but _didn't like the idea that Cassie wanted to serve_! One word from her could have 'Unfit For Duty' stamped all over the enrollment forms. It was so weird that the girl could feel more at peace around the former-womanizer-dad instead of her uptight-turned-tighter ass mom was kind of hilarious. How her father got it in there in the first place so she could eventually be born...

Cassie shivered in her chair after realizing what she had thought. Sometimes her sarcasm got the best of her and...this was the result. Gagging over any inkling of her parents trying to reproduce, the blonde woman pushed her plate of food away, appetite suddenly forgotten. Heaving a sigh she leaned her cheek against her palm and relaxed against the antique wooden dining table she currently sat at.

Johnny Cage's current home was not massive but still expressed the luxury he had grown used to thanks to his fame. While not the expansive manor he once owned during his bachelor years, the middle-aged actor still had more than enough dough to purchase a modest manor in the Hollywood Hills for himself and his daughter for whenever she stayed with him...something rather commonplace since Sonya had a more Spartan outlook on things and barely used her own house out near Washington D.C, meaning those visits never had that 'homely' feeling to them.

Then again the Briggs family currently lived in the eastern half of the country and Jacqui was her bestie; however that lovable bitch was already enlisted thanks to her own father's pull in the Special Forces and that was just damn annoying.

Sighing again, Cassie leaned back and kicked her feet up on the table with her hands behind her head. There really wasn't much to do today. There were the movies but no one to go with. She just ate (kind of) so it would be redundant to go out to a restaurant. And the dating scene around here despite all the celebs and their children was woefully dry. Plenty of rich kids around here were idiots, or young, or just...they didn't click with Cassie. Perhaps because she knew what it was like to live with strict discipline and rules, and that gave her a better grounding as a person.

A bunch were also assholes who sported an entitlement complex. Yeah...Cassie didn't like assholes hitting on her. _She_ had the art of cockiness down to a 'T' and could match the best of them but also knew when to lighten up.

Well...she was still in her training clothes. The blonde could always pass the time by working out some more. Standing up Cassie began to twist her torso around to stretch and get a better look at her body; brushed a hand against her blue sports bra and spandex capris to smooth out any wrinkles she marveled over the way they hugged her curves. Man...she really was thankful for her parents passing on all the good genes. In fact...the more she thought about it the more she was emboldened to pull out her phone and take a damn good picture to share with the world. Social media was one of her guilty pleasures...and considering she was a modern-day teen in North America, she wasn't alone in that.

She went to pull out her smart phone and then nearly dropped it as an odd, blocky black portal suddenly appeared near the ceiling above the table. There was an odd ripping noise before a body was ejected and fell to the table below, crushing it inward and busting its legs despite the drop not being from up very high. Cassie shrieked in confusion at the unexpected intrusion and jumped away, mind so focused on what was before her that she missed the split second of time where her body glowed with a strange lime-green tint before vanishing.

Fumbling with the device she shoved it back in her pocket and prepared herself for a fight, pulse quickening from the stimuli; Cassie _was_ the daughter of two high profile celebrity types and kidnapping attempts had happened before that were quickly ended before they could even begin. This would have been the first time it ever happened in such a strange way...but if it was somehow the efforts of that damn Black Dragon syndicate again, the warrior was going to show no mercy. Not against _those_ criminals.

Yet as the seconds ticked by and absolutely nothing happened save for the gateway disappearing and returning the ceiling to its normal look, the gal eventually recovered her wits and inched closer, fists clenching and unclenching in anticipation. But the body did not stir...if it was even still alive that is. When Cassie was within a foot of to the point she could have reached out and touched him, it was only then that she could properly tell it was a male, possibly around her age, and merely unconscious.

He was tall and could have passed for a member of the family from her mom's side, with nicely tanned skin, marks on his cheeks, and bright yellow hair kept even shorter than hers. He had on a black jacket with an orange zipper and sleeves that could be buttoned back; the left had done so but the right remained loose, possibly because the hand and wrist were completely bandaged up. His pants were orange, but his sandals and the pouches at his waist and thigh were black. So was the black stretch band he had on around his forehead with a metal plate and swirly symbol. His entire being was dirty and the muscles trembled faintly...and on the rare occasion he would groan in pain. Clearly this guy had just gone through something major and it was because of that the girl was not exactly sure how to proceed.

Was he an immigrant from Outworld? The Special Forces had been dealing with a recent influx of refugees from the alternate dimension as of late because a civil war had apparently broken out between two self-entitled rulers in the wake of Shao Kahn's death. The arrivals were sporadic and the government was still trying to iron out the suggestions for handling the situation. Yet the portals were always large vortexes of neon/blackened colors with electrical charges arcing off their circular shapes. Everything about _this_ arrival had been unequivocally wrong compared to the intel that was already known.

Well...her dad would be home soon...he might know what to do. The mysterious intruder was not bleeding or anything but he still looked to be in a rough way. Biting her lip, Cassie contemplated calling for an ambulance but ultimately decided against it when the boy moaned again and tried to sit up drunkenly before falling back over. He didn't seem hurt enough to cause such a panic. "Whoa there, buddy! Take it easy!" She leaned over in concern and put a hand on his shoulder, getting him to look up at her with partially unfocused eyes. Then he seemed to snort in dismissal and slump back. If he had fallen unconscious again Cassie couldn't tell. But the young blonde made a face concerning his somewhat rude action after he looked at her.

Still...he seemed well enough despite the wear and tear. But she couldn't exactly just leave him in the middle of the shattered wood and tableware...

When Johnny Cage returned home that day, he was expecting to find two things lying in wait for him. One was a nice long shower after the last day of filming his latest movie—_Trespass_, regarding his experiences during the Netherrealm invasion—and the other was his daughter and her familiarly haughty features welcoming him back. What the older man sure as hell wasn't anticipating was the fact his little Cassie would be sitting on the couch and _not alone_. There was a strange **boy** next to her with an icepack on his naked forehead, apparently asleep on a bunch of pillows stacked up around him, and looking rather roughed up. Something reaaaaally wasn't adding up for the man who helped protect his home dimension multiple times from destruction and doom.

The man calmly (for the situation) folded his arms across his broad chest and fixed his child with a stare. Cassie in turn sat up and smiled so innocently it almost made him believe she was ten years old again, instead of in revealing clothes and looking more and more like her a copy of her mother every day. Shaking his head, the warrior knew they were going to be in for a talk.

Yet, before he could even open his mouth and say something snarky, Cassie beat him to the punch. "So can I keep him?"

"As long as we get him neutered," he quipped without missing a beat.

Even Cassie winced at the thought and Johnny just smirked; yeah, she was good...but he was the master.

* * *

**Yeah...so here's a thing. Haven't updated in awhile so thought I'd put something out to show I'm still around. I've just been writing a lot,or...rewriting over and over again. My premise is taking a lot longer to put down in a way I want to present. That, and typing out scripts for Youtube videos with a premise to them. And I need a job to start paying off my student loan which will begin soon-ish. So technically I've been both very busy...and not at all.**

**This little preview takes place 4-5 years before the start of Mortal Kombat X. Cassie, Jacqui, Takeda, and Kung Jin obviously have not joined the Special Forces yet and Quan Chi still plots, while Mileena and Kotal Kahn wage war over Outworld's leadership. As for Naruto, his appearance should give you an idea as to what he was doing before coincidentally appearing above Cassie. But if he's here...and not doing so well...then...something big must have happened.**

**So the game doesn't give much in the way of dates...but based on what _is_ given I'd say that Cassie is maybe around twenty-two years old. I've read it was two years after MK9 when Earthrealm is invaded by Netherrealm and Shinnok defeated, and Johnny and Sonya fall in love. MK9 to MKX is twenty-five years, or twenty-three taking the invasion into account. Given that Cassie's parents get married, and it's a given fact that a pregnancy takes nine months without issue, Cassie's highest age during MKX peaks at twenty-two, maybe twenty-three if it happened early.**

**In my opinion she seems older at around her mid twenties but it's probably the graphics, and such an age doesn't fit with the game's timeline. Then you have to take into account her parents would very likely want their daughter to complete her schooling before joining the military, and then all the training, and her ascension to sergeant...even a prodigy, it would take Cassie a few years. **

**So...tl;dr, Cassie Cage is probably early twenties at the start of the game.**


End file.
